Before that...
I need to say a few things on my country's standard of football. As every Singaporean would point out, Bernd "not der schlange" Stange may not be the correct bloke for us after all. I understand his desire to up the stakes, but there's a reason behind why we're still stuck in our very own grandfather's football.
Lack of quality infrastructure:
This has to be the most damning proof that Singaporean football is just not good enough technically. Under Raddy "the daddy" Avramović, we're guilty of playing our game under Tony "not the police" Pulis. I'm pretty sure a lot of my fellow S'poreans still recalled fondly our Suzuki Cup success under his leadership. However, we're also the long ball team to look out for as a result. One of the greatest (if not the greatest) point of debate lies in National Service. However, it can also be counter-argued that South Korea also has a compulsory military system so as to speak. In other words, whether NS is the problem remains as a moot point. Let's just face it, guys. Our infrastructure isn't good enough. In a society where everyone is hungry for success in 60 secs, there's no chance in hell we can call ourselves a technical team. No one asked us to play like Barca, but we should also understand why Thailand has always come out on top of us. To rub insult to the injury, even Vietnam is now technically better than us. That wasn't the case during the 90s. So why are we still lagging behind?
Under the foreign talent scheme, we have our very own foreign talent success stories. Because we're talking about a team of local lions, we also have our very own local favourites. Yet, we cannot and should not expect the foreign legion to bail us out like what the EU has always done for Greece. If we need to prove ourselves on the regional stage, we need to find ways and means to evolve. Our current brand of football may be efficient, but it's definitely technically inferior to some of the ASEAN teams at the moment. The only reason why we're able to pull through so far is down to tactical discipline. This was why Raddy remained as our most successful coach, this is also why Sundram was able to get a result against Myanmar.
Honestly speaking, I don't see a future for our current senior players to make the cut technically. Yes, we have our very homegrown technical players, but is that enough? I find it gutting that our senior players had to thrive under a system where success spoke louder than infrastructure. In this sense, Stange actually committed a serious, if not a fatal mistake. That old bloke overestimated our players' ability to adapt. His win-lose-draw stats isn't about how poor he fared. Rather, I call it a damning assessment of our football. The media can talk about results until the cow comes home, but that will not hide the cracks already there since day 1.
A new generation:
It's high time for us to focus on youth. So far so good, our Young Lions have yet to prove themselves. I won't deny their potential, but I still feel that they're a bunch of cubs instead of their own namesake. When we looked at some of the success stories in the past few years, we still need to ask ourselves is the infrastructure good enough. By hiring the likes of Richard "not Cœur de Lion" Tardy and Michel "not Platini" Sablon, the FAS may have at last acknowledge the chronic problem of infrastructure. You can have the best academy in the region, but everything is merely nothing if your team can't even beat a Championship team. Case in point: Gary "not Lim" Rowett would have taken our senior squad to the cleaners 3 goals to none. Ultimately, we should just consign the current senior team to the history textbooks. After all, no one should expect a tortoise to swim like a turtle. Our new batch of players, on the other hand, may turn out to be another deal altogether. Youngsters can learn pretty fast especially when it comes to individual passion. Ultimately, this will be an arduous process. No one knows how long it will take. After all, it's not like upgrading your OS from Windows 3.1. to Windows 10.
To support or not to support:
Support is surely a vital ingredient to success. It's like cooking beef rendang. You need the meat, you also need to sauce. However, no one should be naive enough to say "oh, let's support our local football scene" and that's all. Singapore football needs to support, but it must also ensure this support will never be in vain. Take a look at my beloved Boro. If the Riverside was packed to the rafters, it's already a miracle. Match attendance so far has been nothing less than a hit-and-miss. However, there always have been plenty of support when it comes to their academy at Rockliffe Park. No many of my fellow Singaporeans would have known where Rockliffe Park is, let alone whether there's such a place. Consider the local talents churned out so far. Pedigree wise, these young lions would have devoured our very own Young Lions player for player. The problem with Middlesbrough is that this has always been an impoverished town cursed with recent troubles. The steel industry is still in a state of limbo, I can assure you that this means a lot to the locals. As for us Singaporeans, we do not have such worries. Yet, the quality of football in that poor little town in England actually outstrips the Singaporean standard. Taking things for granted has always been a problem for any first world country. And that includes us. Not to mention including our footballing scene as well. It's really a two-way traffic, a relationship which is mutual. I hope the FAS won't focus on pleasing the cynics and sceptics. Rather, the people there should just do their job in a manner befitting a footballing gentleman. Only by doing things right can the FAS prove itself right before the critics. It's going to be a long journey, it is best that we don't see the current positive signs as a sign from heaven above. It's one thing to draft a plan, quite another to say that plan will be a success. If you can't even be sure whether you'll die tomorrow, what makes us so sure that we can achieve success in a mere span of 5 years or so?
With the rant finally done...
Let's get on to business. Group A is most likely a foregone conclusion according to the pundits. We have the home nation out to outdo Portugal 12 years ago. We have two underdogs and one more team widely expected to finish second. Let me just do a brief analysis on the four teams of A. Hopefully I can finish this before 2am. It's already 1am now.
Les Bleus or Les Misérables?
I'm definitely not rich enough to watch an expensive musical, I'm only rich enough to watch Hugh "not Grant" Jackman and Russell "not Lee" Crowe on TV. Unless I get a local girlfriend who is rich, beautiful, and intelligent that is. Not mention being able to speak French as well.
Let's just face it, guys. Whether you're English, German, or Italian, you have to admit that Les Bleus is that most popular girl in the school right now. La Furia Roja may come close, but still Les Bleus remains as that most desirable girlfriend so as to speak. I've just seen the friendly match between Didier "he now knows what he's doing" Deschamps and Gordon "not Ramsey" Strachan. The score looks impressive, ditto for the team as well. However, it must also be said that Portugal could have done the same thing 12 years ago under exact circumstances.
So what must Les Bleus do in order to prevent another heartbreak ever since Le Professeur X decided to use his head quite literally against some Italian bloke? The absence of Karim "Le Benz" Benzema will still be a topic waiting to explode. Until Les Bleus can show that Olivier 'Le Chevalier d'Londres" Giroud can fit himself into the boots of Le Benz rather than just doing the laces, Deschamps will do well in devising a strategy where the goals can come from anywhere. You see, the problem with having a 20 goal per season cult hero lies in the danger of over-reliance. If you can score like that, it means you're the kind of player who can perform under pressure (either that or you're actually born an Inzaghi). Without such a player, the entire team will be forced to chip in. It'd be ideal for Les Bleus if they can boss the pitch from the back till the edge of the 20 yard box. If Giroud can do what le Benz has done all the while though, then I don't see any need for Deschamps to adopt this strategy.
Another player to look out for is Kingsley "not a Cimmerian" Coman. His last name may sound like the most famous barbarian in the fantasy genre, but a man of muscles he is not. The absence of Franck "Le Cicatrice" Ribéry will test Deschamps in a strategic sense. Despite aging like Roger "not the rabbit" Federer, numbers are incapable of crippling his exceptional reading of the game. This is the kind of guy who will always survive the 90 minutes' equivalent of a terrorist siege. If you want to take the ball off his feet, be prepared to be booked. Either that or you can only cripple him like what Ryan "no, not you Ryan Ng" Shawcross did to Aaron "again not a Gordon" Ramsey last time round. However, he wasn't included this time round. If Coman gets his chance to supplant the wing incumbent of the republic, he has to play without fear. He has the pace and technique. Like all the British national teams in Europe, France actually favours an orthodox wingplay despite cynics likening this approach to the Jurassic Park movies. However, there's another major player vital to the French cause. Namely this black guy below.
When Sir A.Fergie decided to release Gerard "not Houllier" Piqué, he may have never imagined Barcelona becoming a powerhouse in club football. When he did the same thing to Paul "Le Chevalier Noir" Pogba, he may have never imagined this fellow walking the footsteps of King Richard I. But becoming the black Richard Pogba did. Funnily enough, something was actually being said about some black invasion N years ago. That's most likely before Pogba popped up and hi though (apparently, some politician didn't have a decent pen around in the office *shrugs*). Fast forward to the present and Pogba is proving to his naysayers what they have been missing out all the while. Despite being a white, much credit should go to Antonio "you owe me an Euro and twenty cent" Conte. Football as a career is ever evolving. From a footballer to a football manager, from 1966 to 2016, you'll never even know whether you'll see me being Aitor "El Asedio" Karanka's strategist next season. The same goes for Pogba as well. Gifted with both raw power and refined technique, Les Bleus will be banking on how far he can hit the opponent's midfield box to box. To classify him as a defensive mid is nothing less than an insult. To call him a holding mid who can anchor possession anywhere on the pitch is a more accurate statement. Ultimately, Deschamps have to decide who to partner him in the middle of the park. If Pogba's game gets neutered in the middle of the second third, Les Bleus will be in deep trouble.
All eyes are on another deadly French, namely Antoine "white guy, black striker" Griezmann. The chief reason behind Los Rojiblancos' ability to pinch a smash-and-grab, I won't be surprised if someone actually likened him to Thierry "better than a white Reyes" Henry. Fast and aggressive, the only big difference between the two is their height (i.e. the white guy is shorter than the black striker). As someone who plays more like a sniper than a ball anchor, Deschamps has to make an important decision. Should he play two upfront or just one Giroud in the 20 yard box? This decision may easily make or break Les Bleus' dream of home glory, trust me on that. When it comes to form, Griezmann should get the nod ahead of his fellow French from the capital. Knowing Deschamps' strategic preference though, it's more likely to see Giroud starting instead.
Racist drama and Algerians
Le Benz is definitely not a happy Benz. Embroiled in a sex-related scandal N years after an underaged harlot somehow contrived to rock an entire nation, the closest thing you can get impact-wise is most likely to be the infamous Celebrity 101. While I do not know whether Jennifer "the current hot Jen" Lawrence has officially pressed charges against that original guy (i.e. the feds got him without telling us how and when), I do know that Mathieu "neither a Flamini nor a Debuchy" Valbuena is no Muslim. Let alone a black one.
The entire logic is very simple. While I can empathise with Le Benz's bitterness towards being axed from the national squad, it must be stated that including Le Benz means Deschamps will be forced to include Valbuena as well. Failure to do so can (and will) create a dressing room drama never before seen since 2010. Which now comes to Hatem "unrelated to Ben Hur" Ben Arfa.
You see, the cynics are most likely having fun with Ben Arfa instead of Le Benz. The reason why is down to two factors:
1. The Parisian terror attack last year
2. The fact that we're talking about two Muslim guys instead of just one.
Right now, Ben Arfa is being placed on standby. In other words, he will only be recalled if Deschamps experiences a freak injury crisis where half the midfield will be spending a few weeks (hopefully that is) in the FICU (i.e. Footballers' Intensive Care Unit). Of course plenty may have been said about his troubled past as a black Joey "better than Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer combined" Barton, but he's settling nicely at Nice right now. I don't think we will know the exact details (unless ofc if the FFF decided to say something), but at least we can hope Marine "not Le Stylo" Le Pen doesn't end up unsheathing her pen. After all, the pen is mightier than the sword in the same way a politician is mightier than a general.
Have to sleep now...
But before that, let me just compensate any guy who is feeling bummed out just because I left out my analysis for the other 3 teams. If any of the three wins the biggest continental prize since Eurovision, maybe these beautiful ladies should don their national colours for the entire day.
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| Egla Harxhi (Albania) |
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| Simona Halep (Romania) |
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| Belinda Bencic (Switzerland) |
P.S to Deschamps: I really need sign off now. Think my parents are now really mistaking their son for an Italian. Monsieur, please mind the gaps between your centrebacks and fullbacks. Merci and bonne chance.
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