Brace yourselves... (Pt Deux of Pt Deux) [also known as the Germans are coming]

Don't we all love the Starks? When Ned got the IS treatment, the entire fanbase went into pieces (supposedly, Ned was widely touted to be that unkillable main character for around 1/3 of the first book). When Robb got brutally robbed in ways more than one, the entire fanbase hit doomsday mode. When Jon "died", the entire fanbase was grateful for Kit "Snow" Harrington trolling them (to highlight the absurdity of HBO's gimmick stunt, it's like Xiaxue being thankful for the Ministry of Public Rail Transport for this. And no, you don't have to Google check for the relevant government ministry). And yes, we all know karma is a bitch, her name is Sansa.

Bundesrepublik Deutschland versus Slovenská republika

This is it, another blockbuster 90 minutes of the last 16. However, it must also be stated that compared to the current 90 minutes going on right now, Germany vs Slovakia is... well, a mere sideshow. Quite obviously, no one would be touting this match as the footballing equivalent of Angelique "Die Engel" Kerber vs Belinda "tak benci" Bencic. Rather, it's more likely to be a case of Die Engel herself vs Daniela "she's got legs like Stacy Keibler" Hantuchová (tennis fans/Bencers will understand the joke unlike the rest. And no, I'm neither of them).

Recently, Joachim "his reach is really low" Löw got himself into the headlines for all the wrong reason. From Bavaria to Hamburg, whether you're a Singaporean, German, or just about any kind of human being there, surely you'd most likely update your FB status to "Disgusting. Totally disgusted" after traumatising yourself over the footage. More so if you're a woman/girl/lady. Even more disgusting is the fact that I used to do this during my secondary school days. I'm not guilty of reaching below, but I did do some other disgusting stuff on the par with this German Löw. When I look back on it, I realised a few things.

1. Before the German Löw, we already got the Singaporean Löw.

2. If this is to be an indication of intellectual superiority since a genius is bound to be called "siao", then it means great minds think alike in ways more than just a few. Yes, I know it's an "ewww..." moment

3. I hope my future girlfriend doesn't have a BFF working in Hamburg right now. In the event my worst fear comes true, I need to show both my future girlfriend and her BFF this.

Enough about toilet humour, this kind of joke belongs to shows like Beavis and Butthead. Let's talk some serious stuff here. Like Les Bleus, Die Nationalelf has yet to hit peak form. Yet, the signs at group stage is anything by assuring. When I say the Franks has yet to peak, it's actually a good thing. For the Saxons, it's a case of same concept=different situation. Michael "currently barracking his nation" Ballack had something damning to say. Namely this. Needless to say, the entire (?) Saxon (?) dressing room chose to emulate their much hated Anglo-Saxon neighbour. I'm not about to take sides, but I have to admit the greatest problem lies in the lone vorhut role. I won't be surprised if Löw is currently in a state of limbo strategy-wise. Neither Mario looked like Super Mario so far in the group stages, far better it should be for Löw to field a Luigi. Götze's lack of big match consistency is destroying his international career while Gómez has never been part of Löw's plan. In fact, I suspect the only reason why Gómez had a shot at Northern Ireland was down to a sense of frustration caused by Götze's apparent no-show as the false 9. Which now comes to this kerl below.

Long story short, just play this kerl in the false 9. Seriously Herr Löw, I'm not joking. This kerl is your only bet of reprieve! Case in point: 2 years ago in Brazil. What are you waiting for? To see Hantuchová defeating Kerber in this year's Wimbledon? Götze, don't laugh. If you can't play yourself into the team, then don't expect to start in the team. As for you, Gómez... okay, I admit you gave me plenty of wth moments 8 years ago. It was a nightmare. Like Selena "definitely not a footballer" Gomez experiencing a mic malfunction on the stage. As for you, Herr Ballack, don't feel so smug. I can guarantee the whole of Germany, from Bavaria to Hamburg, that all Herr Löw needs to do is to fix the attacking 3 behind Der Vorhut (whoever the kerl is gonna be since I don't pick the team any more than Herr Ballack).

Make no mistakes, damen und herren. The Slavs will approach the match like what they did against your Anglo-Saxon neighbour. They'll most likely park the bus and prevent your beloved Nationalelf from penetrating their half of the middle 3rd. I just saw their team sheet. 4-3-3? Just shift 2 guys back and you have a 4-5-1. Exactly the same deal as England not so long ago...

P.S: Need to end this post. Will be doing my final 3rd of today's last of 16 fixtures. Maybe a bit of gaming first. Just finished my brief Sharandar run with Arylos der Königsmörder.