The Red Dragon
Starring China as that one fellow who made Antony "as Hannibal, Rome's worst nightmare" Hopkins into a household name. Okay, sort of.
A lot has been said about China becoming a trouble. I'm not referring to politics (since I can't be bothered in deciding which nation should win the South China Sea row), but rather football. Not so recently, China decided to splash the cash which happened to be the same size as Cthulhu. In the name of footballing excellence, no less. If you think the PRC Chinese (no xenophobic intent here, just that I need to differentiate between a Chinese from China and a Chinese from elsewhere) has too much money to burn and far too little understanding in dealing with it, you might be right after all. While I'd like to say something about the dissonance between the PRC tourists and the PRC history, I decide not to give a lecture (but let me just say that China's 5000 years of history has always been about cultural excellence. That's apart from civil wars like this and the occasional act of invasion like that).
I have nothing against PRC Chinese, let me assure you. In fact, two of my favourite historical characters actually hailed from China's 5000 years of history. At the same time, some of my FB friends are... well, PRC Chinese (and no, Sun Xu isn't one of them because he mistook me for Cú Chulainn).
Just skip the vids if you want to. No one is forcing you to do anything.
Okay, back to China and football. Note that I never say Chinese football for a very good reason. Firstly, let me be this damn brutally blunt. National football standard in China is getting nowhere. More oft than not, any promise would be compromised one way or another. There's still a long way for China to go when it comes to catching up with the two big tigers named Japan and South Korea.
Let just ask you a simple question: Have you ever seen a South Korean son of a gun in London? If your answer is yes, it means you know who is Son "Le Fils at OGC Nice next?" Heung-min.
Let me ask you another question: Do you think the cause of Kagawa "can he score for club and nation?" Shinji's loss of form was down to his rumoured belle? I don't know, but there's a reason why form and class should be seen as two different things like how I should never mistake my super mignonne legal housebreaker for her BFF or vice versa.
Then here's my third question: When was the last time you see a Chinese player in a top flight European team?
Any talk of "we don't need these teams to make China great" is like someone telling me England should have won major silverware more than just once. Let me just quote a German Kop as my answer.
Ironically, what is happening in China is basically a copycat version of what is happening in English top flight football now. Signing Oscar for 50 million doesn't mean a thing. So what if the Chinese Super League can rival the Premier League? Do you know that England is still waiting for the next Sir Alf Ramsey? Do you know that the Anglo-Saxons were knocked out by those Gunnofsons Vikings right before every gloating Frank? You can bullshit me when it comes to domestic football, but you don't bullshit me when it comes to the international stage.
For the CSL to rival the EPL (let alone surpass), there has to be that "WOW!" factor when it comes to players who will matter most in the international stage. No disrespect to the likes of Oscar and Pato, but people are bound to point out that Gabriel "let's not give him too much stress b/c of his name" Jesus opted to be Man City's Gabriel instead of some messianic figure in the CSL! We must be very careful here, we must keep our eyes open on what kind of players go into the CSL. Unlike leagues like the MLS, the CSL is able to attract the more youthful names. Like the MLS, the CSL needs way more than just that to ensure quality football beyond just the foreign big names. And that's not to mention the U.S gracing the international footballing stage more often than China (while I'd like to mention women's soccer as well, I don't feel like name-dropping the likes of Hope "her dad ain't Han" Solo and Alex "unrelated to Piers" Morgan because AWARE may name-drop me instead for this).
The bigwigs in mainland need to make a decision fast. I don't profess to be Guan Zhong (unlike Zhuge Liang), but let me just give them a bit of advice (that is provided China did unban Google).
You have money going into foreign football clubs, your country got money going into the CSL. I won't say focus on one and sod all for the other. But more money needs to be placed in the CSL. Way more than whatever money being used to buy foreign football clubs. Money NOT to sign those 50 million dollar lads who may end up worth less than Calum "the 16 million quids lad" Chambers. Rather, it should be money well spent on the grassroots and academy level. Please don't tell me you're actually too poor to build a St George's Park or a Clairefontaine.
YOU GOT A *BLEEP* TROUBLE!!!!!
Man City got itself a break from jail this mid-week. But was it really that bad? Should Pep "El Geni" play Chang "YOU GOT A *BLEEP* TROUBLE!!!" Chen-yue's Trouble in front of the entire dressing room? Firstly, let me say that this Trouble done by a Taiwanese isn't the same trouble done by a Brit girl band. Suffice to say, it's littered with that word which the FCC will censor without batting an eyelid. Period (I do know there's a Taiwanese girl in the CT-MRI dept of SGH. Think she may know what Trouble I'm referring to).
Many will point to the flaws during the Battle of El Etihad. However, there's also more than just a fair bit of mental strength in this bunch of City slickers. I noticed the timing of the comeback. City got back into the game when it was 2-1 and 3-2 down respectively. Yes, Pep needs to address the backline. But if there's anything he may have learnt from our very own Señor, it's fostering nerves of steel.
This is where this article comes in. This season has been outright crazy. Before Donald "not Tsang" Trump became crazy in front of public TV, the Premier League has already done so. Last season, in fact. Therefore, it's only natural for Pep to face what is customary for every gaffer in the top flight (and that includes Señor). It has got nothing to do with form or even class. Form and class alone are not good enough to warrant a topsy-turvy Premier league where seasoned viewers of English football should be forgiven for wondering whether they're actually watching Championship football. Something is not right, every gaffer is getting smarter within 1-2 seasons under the belt.
I may (or may not) have caused the gaffers to up their game. That's beside the point. Look at what I've written here in my FB profile screengrab.
Pep is a manager high on pressing and not so high on defending. However, his pressing tactics depend heavily on the midfield. To boss the ball and decide where to play it forward. Yes, you've read it right. If it's a matter of when, then Pep's footballing aesthetics would have gone totally bald like what his frenemy had implied last time round. To make this strategy work, Pep needs to have intelligent midfielders. Not that he doesn't need intelligent forwards since you don't call Lionel "will opponents start messing him up?" Messi a moron (unless ofc you happen to support either Los Blancos or RCD Español).
I doubt Pep will want to tell John "hope he won't be stoned by the press" Stones to fall back unless the lad wants to be stoned to death at the orders of his boss. But there has to be a way to create the defensive work rather than playing dodgeball with the press. If the defenders are not in charge of intercepting the ball like the Patriot SAM system employed against Saddam's Scud, it merely means someone else has to intercept the Scud S. Which means there left only one other possibility. The midfield.
In order to allow the backline to play the ball forward like David "his football ain't Moyes' football" Luiz, more than one midfielder has to play the shield. However, it's absolutely anti-Pep to deploy 3 or even more midfielders just to chase it back. If one is not enough, how about two? Coupled with the fact that Jesus (a son of man, not the Son of God) covered 11.5 km per 90 mins and 73 sprints per match, it means Pep would have 3 players running back instead of just one Rooney in blue stranded somewhere in his own Bermuda Triangle. Without Jesus' intervention (no pun intended since there's only one Son of God and he's Jewish), Pep would have to either deploy 2 men out of 10 to track back or telling the lone forward to do Jesus' job (and I don't mean getting crucified by the Romans). With Jesus unable to save himself from injury (after all, he's never a god), Pep is most likely facing the greatest test of his tactical credential. Quite obviously, a genius like him doesn't need someone like me to tell him that. Even if great minds do think alike.
Case in point? I doubt Monaco would have popped 3 past City if Jesus McGod was around. No offence intended to Radamel "El Halcón" Falcao btw.
Big Sam, bigger trouble
Is it a good time to play Crystal Palace? I have to say there's no such thing as a good time to play any team. Especially given our current circumstances. Yes, Big Uncle Sam has lost more matches than he'd like to (not that any gaffer would like to lose anyway unless Wilson "let's not call him a willy" Raj approaches him like some shady journalist). But to lose against us means a step nearer to the hangman's trap door. Basically, this means we're also in the same situation.
Make no mistakes about it. When I mention bigger trouble, it means the same for us and them. If I want to play the nice guy (after all, nice guys get bullied and I have a history of being bullied in school. No one has to go through this. Period), then it should be 1 pt for both sides instead of 3 pts for only one. However, football is a different ball game from schoolyard democracy. The latter is no different from seeing morons and sheeple daily, the former is no different from fighting a battle.
So what should we expect from Big Uncle Sam's Palace? Firstly, Palace will be having a go at us. They will go straight at us off the block. Therefore, three positions will matter the most to Big Uncle Sam. Namely, the right midfield, left midfield, and central attacking midfield. This is assuming Big Uncle Sam will be playing a 4-2-3-1. If it's a 4-4-2, then Señor has to guess correctly where the ball anchor will be deployed.
While it's more logical to say Big Uncle Sam's choice of ball anchor lies in the holding mid, such an approach will only work if Palace has the bulk of possession. Should Big Uncle Sam decide to let fly right from the whistle, it means the ball anchor has to be the CAM. This is because additional defensive cover can be done since it will give the holding mids more time and space to cover ground off-ball. In short, the plan is to prevent us from breaking forward while maintaining an offensive stranglehold.
On our end, Señor may have implied we're actually in a bigger trouble than we think. The players crocked are those who are able to play in the fullback position. What this means is very simple: Big Sam will be looking at whether Ben "Le Prince" Gibson is playing at the leftback or centreback. The reason why being that Palace is a team high on pace out wide and big on size and power down the centre when it comes to attacking the final 3rd. If Prince Gibbo is playing at the centreback, it means Big Uncle Sam may focus on our defensive width. If His Royal (Gibbo) Highness is playing at the leftback, it means our centrebacks will have their hands full dealing with players like Christian "Benteke GT V17" Benteke and Andros "not Stuart" Townsend.
Either way, Señor will do well in fortifying the central area. From the centrebacks to the lone striker, no less. If whoever playing in the hole 9 can put in an extra shift or more in tracking back, then we'll have a decent chance of getting a win. And also, we need out two holding mids at their bloody damn best. If they mess this up (either both or one of them), we're dead. Period.
P.S: I don't have to mention Wilfried "fried by Moyes" Zaha in this post. The reason why being that he's so dangerous, it's not good to put undue pressure on our fullbacks. Don't believe me, go ask our BFF George on what happened last time round.
