Lessons to be learnt from the St Andrew's fiasco
Firstly, where did it all go wrong? Surely that's not because of Malala "not from Malacca" Yousafzai even though she's technically an immigrant. So what was the cause of 2 pts dropped?
There are two reasons behind the St Andrew's screwjob.
First, we have the linesman who was made to look like an idiot just because even Gary "not Lim" Rowett said the goal by Daniel "El Ratón III?" Ayala should be legal. As it turned out, the goal was legally ruled as... well, illegal.
Secondly, let's not be too harsh on that poor bloke. After all, we shot ourselves in the foot by parking the bus after going 2-1 up. In case you think I'm interested in writing up a conspiracy theory concerning some blokes from England having a problem with me just because I may have put some managers out of their jobs, you're wrong. You all might as well speculate whether George Bush Jr is a Muslim since you all like to say 9/11 was an inside job.
In other words, let the Referees' Association do their house cleaning just like how we should do our own house cleaning.
Note to all in that secret FB society: Half of the lingo will elude you easily like a B2 stealth bomber. Basically, that's because of difference in culture between Singapore and Teesside.
Lessons to be learnt from Champions League
I don't know about you, but both halves of Madrid have taught us a thing or two on how to win matches. Los Rojiblancos taught us the fact that you only need 1 single tactical substitution to make things right. Los Blancos actually taught us the fact that defensive excellence combined with dogged nature can win you the match.
Ultimately, what I said above will have a bearing on how our final match will go.
Firstly, Chris "Joey Barton's first BFF" Hughton will NOT park the bus. Derby tried doing a favor for both us and themselves. Ultimately, it's only half-success. A 1-1 draw basically means Hughton has to take the fight to us. A brief look at his customary starting 11 would betray two notable names.
Anthony "French bloke, name sounds English" Knockaert is without a doubt the most dangerous guy with the ball. While he's no Kingsley "unrelated to Aladeen's BFF" Coman, he's nevertheless the closest bloke to Thomas "the super Bavarian mallet" Müller in this division. Capable of playing on the right, I won't be surprised if he can also play down the centre in hole 9. As it turned out, Hughton decided to play him on the right.
You may not know this guy, but local (S'porean) football fans will recall a certain Michal "can't think of a nickname for now also" Váňa. The relationship between the two is never abt Wilson "Not Willy" Raj. Rather, both of them come from the same nation. Well technically anyway since the Czech Republic is part of Czechoslovakia (basically, this also means that Belinda "tak benci" Bencic is also technically a Czech. *shrugs*).
Either way, seeing this bloke deployed out wide may not raise many eyebrows. More on that later...
Grant "he who bites the lead" Leadbitter should be a no-brainer to start despite certain sections of fans demanding that Adam "not Swandi" Forshaw to start the game as our very own Die Bastion. Another no brainer to start is this sea creature in red above. Adam "Wenger should sign him and play 4-1-4-1" Clayton has been outstanding for us. His greatest strength lies in consistency, this bloke will be one half of our lock in the same way Knockaert will be one half of Brighton's key.
Assuming that George "every SPG's dream BFF" Friend won't be starting, we'll surely be keeping our fingers crossed on whether some Belgian (who happens to look a bit like Putin and a bit like the latest James Bond) can deliver the goods. Belgian chocs, Belgian waffles, and Belgian beer. The only thing better than the three added together will be Richard "not de Late" de Laet redeeming himself after his total nightmare at St Andrew's street. Worst come to worst, the leftback position will be filled by Lonesome George himself.
A cagey affair
Despite Brighton now reliving the good old Me Gusta! days, Hughton is no Gus "Me Gusta!" Poyet. Do NOT expect Brighton to press us all over the pitch. This is a team nicknamed the Seagulls, not a big fat albatross waiting to be shot down. This is even more apparent given we're not leaking goals in the same manner we're not scoring much as well.
However, I won't be surprised if Seagull Chris will try to control his own half of the pitch before letting fly at us come 2nd half.
Baseline anyone?
Don't we all love tennis? Not only do the girls get to ogle at Rafa "not Benítez" Nadal's biceps, we guys also get to ogle at the young stars like Angelique "der Engel" Kerber, Eugenie "pretty genie in a bottle" Bouchard, and ofc Bencic herself also. Beyond that, there's the baseline.
When I say baseline, I'm not referring to where the camera is aiming. Rather, baseline means... well, baseline. How we approach the match will most likely be how the Seagulls approach the same match. Namely like a stereotypical Swiss tennis player, never mind whether it's Roger "非弱智" Federer or Bencic herself.
As a defensive unit, we're quite obviously watertight at the back. 'Tis a no-brainer. But what about Brighton? I still remember when Seagull Chris first came to the team, the entire dressing room was in somewhat of a shambles. It's like seeing Nadal struggling while wondering whether he'll still be Le Roi d'Roland-Garros. One thing which stood out back then was his decision to play 3-5-2. To me, it's a risky move because the logical approach should be keeping things tight from the back till middle. In other words, why not 4-4-2 or 4-5-1?
I'll never know the answer to this question because I ain't Seagull Chris. What I can do, however, is to find a common ground between the 3-5-2 of last season and the 4-4-2 of this season.
Most dangerous bloke alive?
People will say Knockaert. Fans will say Knockaert. Holloway, Neville, and the two Jamies will say... well, Knockaert. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with whether Emma "megawatts" Watson should be a French with an English name. For me, however, the most dangerous bloke will no doubt be some Czech bloke whom 99% of the S'porean population know nothing about. Namely Jiří "can't think of a nickname for now" Skalák.
Wait, you crazy? You siao ah?
No, I'm not. Even if I am, perhaps that's because I'm truly born a genius. After all, every genius is a madman in his own right. The irony behind the 170 million quids showdown may be visible only to a chosen few, but it doesn't mean I'm excluded from this chosen lot.
You see, we as the unwanted Boro are notorious for playing like Valencia under Quique "1-0 Sánchez" Sánchez Flores while Brighton is now playing somewhat like Los Che under the leadership of Unai "will he make unagi sushi out of Liverpool?" Emery. In order to facilitate our excellence of (defensive) execution like a certain Bret "the Hitman" Hart, we need to have an excellent four by two. In order for the opposition to facilitate their own excellence of execution, they need to have an excellent four by two. Our four by two is to prevent opponents from scoring, their four by two is to allow their own players to score.
Unlike the five-blokes-across-the-midfield approach last season, Brighton is now technically better across the back. This is why I'm sure Seagull Chris will want to control his own half during the first 45 minutes. Let's just face it, guys. We're not playing against Barcelona in the same way they're not playing against Real Madrid.
Which now comes to the role of the main strikeforce. Let me first state that Skalák is both a forward and the kind of player Seagull Chris enjoys deploying out wide. Therefore, the Czech bloke is technically NOT part of the main strikeforce.
The role of the forward two will most likely boil down to 2 scenarios:
1. Frontline anchor
2. Sharing the fun in goal scoring just like what Chris "not Hughton" Sutton did the last time round with Alan "Captain England" Shearer.
Scenario 1 may seem like the more offensive option due to scenario 2 sounding like what Leicester has always done this season. But trust me when I give you the counter-intuitive answer. Option 1 is more defensive and option 2 is more offensive. Remember, folks. Brighton is possibly the most technical team so far out of the 24 teams in the Championship. It's like watching Swansea during the good old days of conspiracy theories involving the FA and the Welsh in general.
Either way, the key to Heaven or Hell lies in where Seagull Chris will play his ball anchor.
Note: To further elaborate what I'm saying here, let me just ask you this question. Is it easier for a team to defend the ball with 6 blokes surrounding the ball anchor or 5 blokes doing the same thing?
But I still don't understand what you're saying!
Okay, let me just explain this to you. If you're to deploy a forward out wide in Football Manager, what is your reason? The thing with forwards played out wide isn't a new concept. I've seen this approach done N times over for the past few seasons of watching Championship football. As a wide forward, Skalák's duty is to know when to cut in from the flank rather than whether.
The moment he does that, we're screwed. Our backline needs to be 200% alert. It's not good enough for us to keep out 2 strikers and a French alone because there's a third card in Seagull Chris' hand.
Which now comes to Knockaert
We need to force this guy back. Back to where he originally started. Namely the right end of a flat midfield rather than giving him the license to kill. If watching the super Bavarian mallet himself playing on the right ain't traumatic enough, it means either you're a fan of Bayern München or a fan of Germany come La Marseillaise 2016.
Basically, this is where either every SPG's dream BFF comes in or that Belgian Putin steps in. I'm pretty sure our Friend will be good enough to do the job properly. But what if he gets crocked halfway through like Marco "not van Bastard" van Basten himself?
Instinctively, fans may question whether de Laet is good enough not to turn up late in terms of shackling Knockaert. However, it must also be stated that both the Belgian and the French used to play for the same team. It's very easy for us to overlook this fact, but it still remains true that the two of them were regular starters for Leicester prior to Claudio "Italian bloke, English football" Ranieri bringing in the beer and pizza. In other words, Nigel "he looks like Colossus" Pearson was the bloke who made them famous by bringing in the fire and brimstone. Therefore, it is to my humble (?) opinion that de Laet should not have any excuses if he allows Knockaert to wriggle free like some slippery French unagi.
Special mention
On the first glance, it's extremely easy for people to assume Ben "Prince Gibbo" Gibson is in the team due to Steve "King Gibbo" Gibson being his uncle. I still remember Mogga praising him for his commanding presence. Think that's before he hit the legal age of 21 (I don't know about UK, but legal age of consent in Singapore is 21. Before that, you're answerable to your parents). No matter what, someone in the secret FB society of local (and I don't mean Singaporeans) Boro fans once mentioned that he's technically crap. Win the ball, then he becomes Jushoov d'Ball. At that time, I never disagreed with Mark (not to be confused with my cousin Mark). However, I did say that it's up to Prince Gibbo to decide whether he's content to be a Championship player for the rest of his life or wanting to be Premiership player for the rest of his future.
If this lad starts, he must bring his A-game. As the left end of the centreback partnership, it's his duty to make sure de Laet/Friend won't walk alone. He has to be mindful of two things.
1. Knockaert cutting inside from the right.
2. Knockaert rampaging down our left.
If we give Knockeart the license to kill, it means Skalák would be given the chance to execute. We can't afford failed this to happen. And even if Skalák doesn't score, it merely means Knockaert can play the ball to either of the two main strikers.
Role of the central mids
I don't care whether Forshaw will start. What I care about is whether our holding mids can weather the storm. Their job is to fortify the back 4. Not only that, they should also be our first line of defence against a very damn technical Brighton team ever since Óscar "not Luis" García took over the team years ago.
P.S: If any Geordie fan happens to finish reading this post, let me clarify that four by two means four by two literally. I'm not anti-Jewish, I'm also not a Cockney.
Add P.S: If we really can't score, then we may need to sign John Terry himself.
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