Repubblica Italiana versus Reino de España
There's something funny abt Antonio "Il Bestia" Conte's Gli Azzurri. It's called the lopsided syndrome. Whenever the team starts scoring 4 teh lolz, the backline will start leaking goals like Barcelona. Whenever they start conceding less, the firing squad will start scoring like a stereotypical Mourinho team. I doubt Vicente "El Zorro" del Bosque would be dumb enough not to notice it unless someone tells me I should be the head coach of La Furia Roja instead. Which is totally dumb quite obviously.
A lot has been said about Andrés "El Gigante" Iniesta being the giant amongst both men and boys. A lot has been said about the matchup of the tourney, namely Il Bestia vs El Gigante. Or at least that's how TNP dubbed this showdown. Let me just say that the key to victory (for one team) and defeat (for the other) lies in the width. Iniesta is a legend in the art of ball passing in the same manner Zlatan "I send entire nations and people into retirement 4 teh lolz" Ibrahimović is a legend in goal scoring. However, a 3-5-2 means the key lies in the two wide men. By creating a horseshoe back 3, Daniele "Il Lupo" De Rossi has officially become the Romulus of the team. It's pointless to try finding a way down the centre. That'll be outright retarded. La Furia Roja can only try finding space between the wingbacks and central 3. Which is easier said than done. Pace and aggression out wide will win the Battle of Latins, mark my words. For La Furia Roja, the only way for the team to prevent itself from becoming La Furia Rojak lies in the attacking width rather than just one man pulling the strings. For Gli Azzurri, the only way for them to whip a dish of Latin rojak is to... well, you think I'll be saying width?
Wrong. It's whatever going down the centre instead of bottoms up from the back.
England versus Ísland
My fellow S'poreans should be proud of yours truly associating our island nation with Island. Basically, Island is Iceland in Icelandic. This is a gross mismatch. Plenty of romantics and optimists will be licking their lips for an England win. Cynics and realists will point out that the ball tends to be round instead of oval. So what's my take here?
Firstly, Roy "yet to be of the Rovers" Hodgson needs to find an effective firing 3 lest he gets himself fired like some unlucky apprentice. His selection on this dept will make or break the nation's heart. Slovakia was a case of ol 'Roy breaking character. Saw Raheem "show me the real Sterling" Sterling flanking Harry "will he finally become a scoring tropical storm?" Kane with Daniel "he dances like a partridge" Sturridge on the other flank (that is unless ol' Roy decided to play Kane out wide). It'd be interesting to see whether this dynamic trio will pry apart the Icelandic mountain range. Or maybe said mountain range will turn out to be a chain of volcanoes over 9000 times more disastrous than the Pacific Ring of Fire.
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| I think we all agree it sucks to be Vegeta... |
Key to victory (for one team) and defeat (for the other) lies in the central midfield. If England has to pull back two black blokes to form a 5 bloke midfield even 1/3 of the time, then we can officially rename England as Engrand in the same way the Three Lions should rename themselves as the Three Pussy Cats. And yes, I know you can have 2 central mids with 2 wide mids. You think I'm stupid? If you want to think like Heather Chua just because I graduate from some It's The End institute, it means you're dumber than you look (i.e. you're actually too dumb to live).
P.S: It's absolutely ridiculous. I actually created a new character for my Neverwinter roster. Namely Korey. Thankfully, it's impossible for me to create the visual equivalent of this beautiful Korean lady below. SHyn Corp would have hunted me down like a dog waiting to be cooked otherwise.
Add P.S: Because I'm too lazy like Super Mario Götze, I decided to add one more label in Tueur de Roi. Tentatively named "Wanted by SHyn Corp: Dead or Alive".
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