Before that, please give me my First Amendment rights to rant+rave
Today, I decided to troll Hong Kong and my fellow Singaporeans. Recently, a lady by the name of Vera Lui exposed her former coach. It's not my position to judge, but I have to point out that one does not simply mistake Vera Lui for Vonnie Lui even though the two goes by the initials VL. To be honest, I don't know what Vera's former coach was watching if he really... well, did it.Then there's my Singapore. As a Singaporean, it can be very tiring dealing with a pretentious society. If you don't believe a moralistic Singaporean society can be pretentious, let me quote somebody below.
[Anisha believes this culture of silence stems mainly from society’s reluctance to have open and honest conversations about the issue of sexual assault.]
Hopefully, my country and fellow Singaporeans will wake up. After all, I never believe the grass is greener on either side.
I don't profess to be a victim of sexual assault, but I can profess to be a victim of a pretentious society. I don't profess to be a knight for the likes of Lady Vera Lui and the unnamed dame, but still... well, I'm not gonna fake myself.
This is BoJo, not Don T. Any case of a mistaken identity is understandable, though.
It's very gutting if you're to ask me. I don't know how Loh Siang Piow/Loh Chan Pew got his job, but there's nothing wrong with having the right connections so that you can get your dream job. After all, a recommendation or two doesn't mean your boss must hire you, right? But yeah, it helps. And I won't be surprised if Loh Siang Piow got his job via legal recommendations and people speaking up for a... well, good coach.
[郭嘉字奉孝，颍川阳翟人也。嘉少有远量。汉末天下将乱。自弱冠匿名迹，密交结英隽，不与俗接，故时人多莫知，惟识达者奇之。]
[Guo Jia, style-named Feng Xiao, a native of Yangzhai county in Yingchuan. Jia had the gift of foresight since young. Since his coming of age, he lived a life of anonymity while making friends with capable people. Never one to interact with the outside world, this was why very few did not know about him. Only those with wisdom were amazed by him.]
Above historical text was taken from Chen Shou's Record of the Three Kingdoms. Out of Cao Cao's numerous advisors, Guo Jia was the special one. Unlike a certain LCP, Guo Jia never groomed anyone. While he did spend some time in ancient Han dynasty's equivalent of the MND, I believe his post was never something like deputy superintendent of the MND. As for fame, he's definitely no Eden Ang since his fame was effectively non-existent. No fame, no grand job, only sheer talent. That's until someone named Xi Zhicai died in Cao Cao's camp and Guo Jia's future boss needed a replacement. Needless to say, Xi Zhicai was most likely a hundred times more famous than Guo Jia.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you're Vera Lui, the unnamed athlete, or just a normal girl out to get a legal job. When it comes to the need to get a trustworthy somebody, you're no different from the greatest strategist serving Cao Cao. And when I say somebody, I mean words like coach and employer, not words associated with 14th Feb. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.
Note: I may be crazy, but I'm not crazy enough to decide who is guilty and who should go to jail. But crazy enough to make fun of circumstances and a pretentious society? You bet. It's like saying Guo Jia was a disruptive element despite being a military genius.
[初，陈群非嘉不治行检，数廷诉嘉，嘉意自若。]
Add note: To prove that I'm not just about making fun of individuals and the classic Asian society, I decided to make fun of Patrick "Professeur Xavier or Capitaine Picard?" Stewart as well. Play the song below and appreciate the dance.
#Runningman and #Pulisman
Let's be frank here. Who'd have imagined Adama "definitely NOT Djimi" Traoré playing more like himself and much less like another Traoré? Under Señor, his final ball and tactical awareness suck. Under the Welsh Monk, hopes of la grande renaissance were dashed despite a difference in footballing philosophy. When the #Pulisman came along with his gun and baton, all feared the worst. If a Spanish-made AK-47 was unable to cow him, why should even the dumbest muppet alive expect the #Pulisman not to fire his trusty (albeit outdated) Smith & Wesson? Well, here's what every athletic coach's greatest dream has to say about his dream coach:
The fish and chips fare coming from us was anything but pretty. It's like what Ian "famous in London" Holloway said:
["To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee"]*
*If you think that's offensive, wait till you see what he said about his hamster Ronaldo.
Long balls from the width? Check. Long balls from the centre? Well, we all know 'tis easier to fire the artillery with plenty of space left and right. At least I'm sure Prince Harry Potter knows what I'm talking about since he's got quite a number of mates in the British military.
When it comes to mentality, Traoré is a boy trapped in a man's body. I remember Lionel "still capable of messing up the opposition" Messi stating his approach to football. This was something echoed by Adam "no Jimmy Savile jokes allowed here despite what's 100% factual" Johnson. Then the next thing we realised, below incident happened.
Señor's problem turned out to be the Welsh Monk's problem. We're talking about how to manage a boy. If you can't force puberty out of him, it means you can't force puberty out of him. If you can't rush him into adulthood, don't rush him into adulthood. Perhaps this is the correct way to deal with a man trapped in a boy's body. We all have done stupid things before, that includes Traoré. So long he doesn't end up becoming the next Brock Turner, it means there's a chance for him to learn and improve. After all, it's not as if he did something so terribly dumb, #Pulisman had to do a Brock Lesnar on him.
Let's see things from a tactical perspective. When the long balls come, who benefits the most? When the Hooters waitress serves up the fish and chips, who gets the food? Not the cat, but Traoré. The application is very easy, the equation is no different from 2+2=5. Yet, it must be stated that an effective man-management was the reason why.
It's very easy to say #Pulisman did something to galvanise a player whose future should be dodgier than that of Adam "not Johnson" Forshaw. Forshaw went to Leeds, Traoré ended up shocking us like a human lightning bolt as fast as Usain "the Black Bolt" Bolt. But what went on behind the scenes? How did Traoré become so smart out of the sudden?
Firstly and foremost, the lad is not stupid. You can say a boy is immature, but you cannot say the same boy is stupid. I've seen men behaving like boys, but that doesn't mean they're stupid. Infantile, yes. Outright muppets? Well, it depends on whether you want to talk about their actual IQ or using their conduct to insult their real-life intelligence. I have to give it to Traoré here. He's much more teachable than the average Singaporean racist brat.
Secondly, this was most likely a case of boarding the bus first and pay the fare later. Let's imagine such a scene below.
#Pulisman: Adama, I need you to do something for me.
Traoré: What if I say no?
#Pulisman: What if you end up listening to me?
Traoré: Yeah right. Before you came, I had to listen to two other white guys like you. Chris Hughton should have come here instead of Brighton and Hove.
#Pulisman: I just want to say you're allowed to do what you want on the pitch.
Traoré: Like Messi?
#Pulisman: More like George Best.
Traoré: Cool. Thanks, boss.
#Pulisman: Don't thank me first. I allow you to do what you want, but it means you'll need to write an IOU.
Traoré: No prob! So what does your IOU say?
#Pulisman: Attack first, learn to fall back later.
Traoré: Sounds reasonable to me.
#Pulisman: Good. At least I never sound like a racist to you.
Crisis 3-4-3
Has Antonio "Il Bestia" Conte officially lost it? The footballing equivalent of Tony Stark is hitting a rough patch atm. With no guarantee of Champions League football till the fat lady of Turin sings, surely there are whispers of him going to Cornwall instead of Lyme Regis. If there's anyone who can stem the tide, it'd be this guy below.
Le Chevalier de Londres and El Bestia. Same position, different style. One is the typical Arsenal centre-forward given he's consistent enough, the other the typical Roman centre-forward in the image of his current boss below.
The Álvaro "貰った!!!" Morata backfired horribly. Currently struggling with injury, a lack of cover in the lone striker role means there's no choice but to play through the pain barrier. When Il Bestia signed Le Chevalier, he's effectively signing another 貰った. Not in terms of durability, but rather playing style. It's 100% evident that the focal point for Il Bestia's Roman XI is currently somewhere up there up front. Let's be fair here. Watford was a debacle due to a sudden meltdown. And this was like more than just 30 mins after someone got himself sent off. Against West Brom, Pedro started instead of Willian (note: Willian wasn't that someone who got himself sent off). Then the next thing we realised, 3-0. Yet, the backline looked shaky going by the report. Stopping short of recalling John "I lost my BFF last time around" Terry, what can Il Bestia do? The clue lies in what he did during Euro 2016 where he defied both critics and the odds.
There's nothing much Il Bestia can do right now. His current predicament is reminiscent of Hannibal (not the one made famous by Anthony "I don't always leave people alive. But when I do, it's a pedo" Hopkins). Last season, Hannibal was Rome's worst nightmare. This season, Scipio Africanus does him in. Okay, that's a hyperbole. But still, Il Bestia's current situation seems to mirror that of his fellow Roman from Carthage.
Yet, 3-5-2 may well be the one thing to save himself from ignominy. Two years ago, he did a 3-5-2. At the capital city of a nation which used to be under the Roman rule, his 3-4-3 was effectively an offensive variation of 3-5-2. This season, 3-4-2-1 is to be even more attacking minded. The problem is this: Such a formation would have left plenty of space for the opposition midfield to exploit. Without El Bestia, Il Bestia has effectively lost a defensive plug meant to reinforce the midfield. The loss of Nemanja "not Vidić" Matić to J-Mou only made things worse. One can say Il Bestia has to deal with two defensive gaps. One the size of a Spanish giant with the other the size of a Serbian titan. The former was the first line of defence, the other the main line of defence. Tiémoué "not a 馬鹿" Bakayoko was signed for a reason. To compensate for El Bestia's return back to Spain as El Lobo's prodigal son, what needs to be done?
The reason why 3-5-2 may be the solution lies in the fact that no defensive cover was sought in the forward area. As a result, there's a need to play a 3-4-2-1 in order to pin back the opponent. The weakness behind this approach lies in a break-and-counter approach where the occasional probe can easily expose the heel of Achilles. The moment the 3-5-2 becomes a 3-1-4-2, however, that's where the fun starts. So long the ball can be played from the back 3 plus 1, Il Besta can afford to erect a physical wall to support the attacking 2. It's not exactly the best idea, but Il Bestia will have to make do. At the same time, having strikers like Le Chevalier and 貰った means a certain Eden will be able to run riot with impunity due to a more assist-oriented style of play up front.
