Pulis says "freeze!"(?)

One of the things I've learnt so far is this: Do not eat the chicken katsu sandwich meal from 4Fingers. It's really very tasty, but also very damn filling at the same time. I never knew they actually fried the bread, hence the term chicken katsu sandwich. I had one for lunch, now I've yet to go hungry (and it's alrdy 10+ at night now).

Apart from 4Fingers, another thing of note is the death of ex-president S.R Nathan. I know plenty of Chinese (no matter where they are/come from) regard death as an obscenity (read: if it's a taboo, then you might as well treat it as an obscenity. Which makes Kelemvor as some kind of dog to my fellow Singaporean Chinese), but I can't find a better way to put it. I didn't grow up in an era where the Mossad may have contemplated assassinating Japanese terrorists. When a couple of KGB wannabes set off a bomb, I wasn't even an embryo. Suffice to say, those of my generation and later (generally speaking ofc) may have been quite detached from the life of that Tamil tiger (a compliment from yours truly, not to be confused with the LTTE from Sri Lanka). I'm not going to tell a lie by saying Mr Nathan has affected my life in a way some others have been affected by him (positively ofc!). However, I still believe that he deserves respect even after he is now no longer with us. The worst way to (dis)respect Mr Nathan has never been about any form of emotional detachment (unless you're perfectly fine in telling a lie to make yourself feel better). Rather, it's something like this.

Note: I'm pretty sure Mr Nathan wouldn't mind me saying that the ISD deserves recognition as well when it comes to prevention whenever the cure couldn't be found.

Add Note: Yes, I'd appreciate it if we all can spend a minute of silence here.

More add note: Above statement was done last night because today is Sunday.

With the prologue said and done...

Let's move onto Tony "Pulis says 'freeze!'(?)" Pulis. When Stoke decided to put this bloke into a sack, I thought the fans had gone off their rockers. This was someone who brought them up from the doldrums of ignominy, this was the guy who made the club stayed up unlike what Phil "not Black" Brown did with Hull (or pretty much 90% of the managers in charge of newly promoted teams). I have to say that while the current situation pretty much justified the sacking of Pulis, I still felt that he deserved much more than... well, just that.

Fast forward to now and it seems that he may have gone more than just a wee bit smarter. The funny thing abt English football lies in the fact that British football is the antithesis of Swiss tennis. Can you imagine comparing Sam "Big Uncle Sam" Allardyce with Roger "yes, I know his name sounds like 'retarded' in Chinese" Federer? What abt comparing Pulis with Stan "the 'WOW!' man" Wawrinka? Don't even try getting me started on comparing the national football scene in England with Martina "not to be confused with martini" Hingis or Belinda "tak benci" Bencic.

Then something went wrong. English tacticians are now trying to emulate the Black Prince instead of trying to be a Lionheart wannabe (ironically, I'm pretty Richard I was actually French since the Normans themselves were... well, French).

Traditionally, 4-2-3-1 was an obscenity because it's something made famous by some Johnny Foreigner. Def not a Johnny English hobby (read: knows no fear+knows no danger=knows nothing). For the English, it's either 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 with the occasional 3-5-2 (still remember Steve "not of McLaren" McClaren doing a 3-5-2 when he's still with us).

Then we start seeing them adopting this formation. Not only that, more noise was starting to be made when it comes to passing the ball like Paul "the apostle of Old Trafford" Scholes instead of just keeping the ball like Cristiano "I not from Brazil" Ronaldo. Apparently, Fabio "Pass the ball... pass the ball! PASS THE *BLEEP*ING BALL!!!!!!!!!!" Capello got his belated wish.

Injury crisis and proof that even the ppl at TNP are reading my blog...

I won't say that everyone is reading my blog(s), but I'm very sure more ppl of non-Singaporean nations are reading my stuff instead of a Singaporean majority for a Singaporean blog. Scarily enough, I started getting views from La République Française shortly after the conclusion of this yr's Euro. It's quite surreal in a sense that I don't know whether it's Didier "Monsieur Bleu" Deschamps, my cousin and/or the rest of her family members, or just some la demoiselle like this one below.

C'mon, you think this is for real?
I mean the girl, not the fact that there are really views from La République itself.

Why I'm suspecting the ppl at TNP are reading my stuff is very simple. All four TNP tipsters (i.e. Le Beng, Le Veteran, Le Expert, and La Chick) predicted the same outcome. Namely a draw. Seriously, are you four for real? We lost our BFF leftback to injury, we lost Fábio "not his bro" da Silva to injury, we're sorely pressed in the leftback position. And you all are still calling for a draw instead of a 1-0 win to the men of Hawthorns? To quote a certain Minister Tan Chuan Jin, I like to be your friend.

You wanna see a draw? Fine. I'll try going for a win. After all, I was the one who mentioned something abt a two man firing squad instead of a 4-3-3 last time round. Damn, why am I sounding like a certain Edward (not the Black Prince) here?

Note: No, I'm not gonna answer whether Leo Percovich is the same RL version of Alex Louis Armstrong or whether Mark Hughes is really Maes Hughes. Or even whether Señor is the RL parallel of Roy Mustang for that matter. But I can tell you the RL version of Winry Rockbell has yet to appear (even though I'm pretty sure she's there somewhere. Pretty sure I saw her somewhere in my workplace 4 yrs ago...).

Fish & Chips (football) vs Parmo (football)

When we talk abt fish and chips, we're reminded of the standard English worker's fare. When we talk abt the parmo, it's basically the Teesside version of fish and chips. Both represented the soul of community football, both can be very tasty if done the right way. Under Señor's stewardship, we're fast looking like a team of steel. Under Pulis' leadership, West Brom is now looking like a team of briars and thorns. This is not to say that we'll cut a swath through their territory. That's sheer nonsense because it took the French quite a long time to pull off a historic win over the Anglo-Saxons (hence the Hundred Year War)

When I talk up the Hawthorns as the homegorund for this team of thorns and briars, it means any opposition will run the risk of injuring themselves. When I say my beloved Boro is a team of steel, it merely refers to the armour rather than whether the sword is sharp enough (as the record currently stands, we're armed with steel maces instead of steel blades).

On paper, it's normal for the likes of Bernie "not Sanders" Slaven, Anthony "Untypically Yours" Vickers, and even Gary "you shall not pass (my park)!" Parkinson to say 3-5-2.

(note: quite contrary to the ignorant view, locked-in syndrome doesn't reduce your IQ unless you happen to be a deranged chimp abusing your OS and browser in the name of social media fame)

However, it's still strategically possible for Señor to play a back four as always. One of the greatest traits of a master tactician/strategist has never been about maximising limited resources. Rather, it's converting the disadvantage of limited resources into an advantage. It's not only abt the players and positions up for grabs, but rather what kind of football the opposition is playing. I know this sounds like footballing alchemy, Trust me when I say it's no rocket science. We still got Emilio "will he become Emilio Stue?" Nsue and Antonio "will he be another son of a gun?" Barragán. I don't have to spell out for you the only back 4 combination available unless you're dumber than what you claimed yourself to (not) be. As for how the only combination available will work, it really depends on how many tactical tweets I'll give.

The fake Shearer once said these damning words: "it's clear to see, it's black and white". While it's truly damning for these Geordie boys, it must be stated that there's more than one barcodes team in the same way we're not the only team wearing Vincent "I want the red (Liver) bird, not bluebirds" Tan's lucky colour. Juventus happens to be the most successful barcodes team so far, West Brom is also a barcodes team (albeit they're Anglo-Saxons, not Romans).

As you can see, this is a black and white brigade. If you still don't know what I'm talking abt here, allow me to showcase my analytical skill (and hopefully getting the attention of the real Winry Rockbell as a result).

In Full Metal Alchemist, alchemy is an art of analysis. To analyse the structure, you'll need to grasp the most important details instead of trying to figure out the entire starting X (not XI because the 'keeper is called a 'keeper for a reason). Funnily enough, that's also how Archer and Emiya Shirou pulled off their common Noble Phantasm.

To analyse the structure, we must understand the nature of the back 4. I did a check on the fullbacks (after all, we're talking abt the Pulis philosophy). The sight of Jonny "neither the real  Johnny English nor the correct Snow" Evans reminds me of his days as a centreback. Ultimately, that propmted me to Google for Craig "unrelated to Michael" Dawson. Turned out that he's got a physique of a centreback. What this means is a compact flat 4 intended as the platform to launch lightning fast raids. However, there has to be added insurance. On the first glance, that'd be Darren "he's gonna fletch the artillery" Fletcher. However, there's another barcodes bloke named Claudio "first name in Latin, last name in Malay?" Yacob. That's where the interesting part comes because he's a defensive mid. So does that mean Fletcher will be doing a flat 2 CM game with Yacob? It depends. After all, it's the Pulis philosophy. Personally, I'd be more worried if Fletcher is to be that defensive attack dog. Sound like an oxymoron? Not really considering the possible movement zone. Def not the midfield attack dog b/c that'd imply a box to box play not unlike an ex-barcodes player of black ethnicity currently playing for Man Utd. Def not offensive as well due to the same logic. Fletcher's movement zone will most likely be centred around Yacob in order to create an effective break-up play.

As for Craig "unrelated to the most recent 007" Gardner, it depends on where he will hold down the ball. This is most likely Pulis' tactical key to playing the ball forward anywhere further than 12 yards out. At the same time, there's no telling how far he will run in order to take the fight straight to our final 3rd. Tactically speaking, Gardner is that most dangerous barcodes bloke.

Which now comes to the black half of the black and white brigade. Namely Matt "unrelated to Kevin" Phillips, Saido "English guy, last name sounds Brazillian" Berahino, and José Salomón "破滅への Rondón" Rondón. Okay, the statement on black ppl may have been a lie/mistake. Rondón is Latin American who hails from a nation renowned for winning the kind of competition which made Rebecca "not Loos" Lim (somewhat) famous. Either way, Phillips' movement either from the flank or behind the firing two would mean serious trouble for us. In order to facilitate disciplined freedom coming from the width, however, one must understand that there has to be an offensive ball anchor. Which means 007 Gardner most likely.

In form of Berahino and Rondón, we got two underrated strikers to take care of. Berahino may be overrated for now, but there's no telling whether Pulis was really pulling an argument out from his arse. As for Rondón, he'll most likely be holding down the ball like the stereotypical non-black centre forward (most likely the reason why Sunlessland broke their previous piggy bank for Steven "not Lim" Fletcher). If Berahino keeps misfiring like the late Ray Charles holding a gun (not that he'd commit a crime anyway since I'm pretty sure he's a law abiding black bloke cum a decent one as well), then the only barcodes team in the EPL will be in for a chronic one pointer syndrome. Hawthorns loyalists will surely agree with me when I say Berahino shouldn't call himself the Modern Day Football's Equivalent of the late Ray Charles. Not only would it sound too damn arse pompous, it's too cumbersome a title to be considered a serious one anyway. And this is not to mention Ray Charles did prove his worth as a genius on a consistent basis.

What Pulis will most likely do...

Pundits like the real Alan "Captain England" Shearer would surely predict a cagey affair given that both Pulis and Señor are renowned men of steel instead of some genius bat from Gotham (don't we all love the good ol' days even though Christian "not Gareth" Bale managed to redefine a role made famous by Michael "Batman versus Birdman: Wings of Justice" Keaton). However, it may possibly be a case of WBA taking the fight to us anywhere within the middle 3rd. I won't say expect plenty of action in the final 3rd, but maybe something like this in the middle park. Yes, we'd want to right some wrong called "playing craven at the Craven Cottage". So does the Hawthorns faithful as well. I can't say who will be the thorns and who will be the briars when it comes to the 11 men and the 12th man, but I can assure every of my Boro'ther-in-arms that WBA will be baying for blood as well. All for the same reason. Interestingly enough, Mogga used to manage them despite him being the better bloke for the Boro job than Gareth "still only a Beaumains instead of a Gawain?" Southgate. Ironically, I think Mogga condemned us to a relegation lasting 7 years. Which (sorta?) led to this and that. Not to mention Joey "I don't pass the baton, I only use it" Barton showering contempt on us last season. Ironically, he eventually chose to go north instead of staying south. The Clarets faithful must be worshipping Sean "def not a douche" Dyche by now due to the arrival of Steven "plays like four professional Stevens combined" Defour.

Yes, I know it's a big wall of text. If you can decipher what I'm saying, it means you're most likely either the correct Pulis or the correct Señor. Maybe even both.

My advice to Señor?

Same thing as what I'd say to Monsieur Bleu if I was his field strategist during the recent Euro. Namely mind the defensive gaps. You should know better than yours truly on where.

P.S; Gotta eat dinner now, mother making noise. I may not be a genius, but I believe I'm born with OCDP. Winry Rockbell, you've been warned. ;)