A match of running men
It feels absolutely surreal to see a derby potentially dominated by 2 teams of 11, 20 running men in total. I saw the starting lineup just now. Apparently, David "I got hot daughter" Moyes decided to go tried and tested. When I first saw his lineup against the slickers from the city of Manchester, I was like...
4-3-3 is very anti-Moyes in the same way 4-5-1 is very anti-football. If only football is really that simple, the Germans would have won silverware not so long ago. Fabio "Il Bovril" Borini out wide? You kidding me? A 3 bloke midfield? You mad? It took me a fair bit of time (not to mention effort as well) trying to decipher this anti-Moyes strategy. Upon seeing his lineup currently, plenty of things make some sense.
Above 4 panel meme strip may easily be the summary of Sunlessland saga (no offence intended after the 90 mins) for the entire season. Why Jermaine "not de Foe" Defoe is not listed is very simple: the danger posed is both a case of common knowledge and common sense knowledge. Seeing Adnan "not Adnandos" Januzaj out wide reminds me of Borini out wide, seeing Fabio "Il Bovril" Borini behind Defoe reminds me of a direct approach every Scot is traditionally so fond of. Make no mistakes about it, Borini will be given far more freedom (and with that, more responsibility) than Defoe. Holding up the ball and driving play forward, Moyes is out to hit us in the jugular like Jackie Chinese instead of messing things up like Johnny English (coincidentally, the real Johnny English also has a hot daughter). Januzaj will be raring to go so long either two scenarios happen:
1. Borini able to stamp his mark upfront between Defoe and the middle 4.
2. The middle 4 (including Januzaj) keeping things tight, compact, and ball-retention friendly.
Ultimately, the forward two will be given more freedom than Januzaj given the freedom to visit AdNando's not unlike what happened in my homeland N ages ago. This is where Jack "the lightning rod" Rodwell comes in. Won't be surprised if he's gonna play lightning rod. To the woefully uneducated, the job of a lightning rod is to absorb the lightning. If this is not a job originally intended for Lee "has a temper like Bruce Lee" Cattermole, I don't know what else is. Moyes will need to play the ball forward asap, it's gonna be a classic break and counter vs break and counter. This is where we'll see John "O'Cap" O'Shea in full action like Captain America... erm, I mean Captain Ireland. I remembered this Irish lad cutting the mustard as a rightback (if I'm not wrong). As a fullback, you should be more than able to hoof the ball. Trust me when I say Ben "Prince Gibbo" Gibson used to do that until Señor benched him like a certain Muzzy (no racist/xenophobic jokes pls, we're talking abt a legit nickname).
So there you have it. Organisation 4 by 4, playing the ball out from a 4 man spine. We're in for a hard fight for a few reasons.
1. Derby matches don't follow common sense logic unless something catastrophic happens (something which happened before to Moyes' ex).
2. Moyes is a capable man motivator and taskmaster (not this taskmaster since that'd effectively make me a Deadpool).
3. Moyes is a master of tactical banking (nothing to do with the Bank of England).
My advice to Señor? Four by two. I don't have to tell you that Shylock was a Jew and everybody else in England hates us like a Jew. Especially Gastón "El Bestia Bello" Ramírez since I'm pretty sure he's officially singled out for the final solution treatment.
P.S: Wait, does that make me a closet Jew as well since people enjoyed persecuting me from Henderson Primary School to Gan Eng Seng School and all the way till ITE Dover?
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| Yes, I know who said "Heil Sunderland!" tyvm... |
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