In 86 we nearly died,
From Ayresome Park to the Riverside,
Europe twice and we won a cup,
One fine day we'll be up.
Manchester we did you twice,
Bredan Rodgers we nearly did you nice.
Gunners and Toffees will hear us roar,
Also from both Koreas to Singapore.

Sunday 11 December 2016

It all started with the letter S

It all started with the letter S. From the fake name of my super mignone legal housebreaker to her actual name, from one version of 31st Oct to another version... it all started with the letter S. If this sounds nonsensical, be very sure it is.

A belated All Saints' Samhain?
When we talk about Halloween, first picture coming to mind may easily be a beautiful girl dressing up as a female vampire in pink (cannot say pontianak because I suspect I may easily become the no.1 public enemy of the CT-MRI dept of the DDR. Don't ask me why). When we talk about All Saints' Day and Samhain, it's actually the same logic.

31st October is already over (together with my birthday, which is one day after), but today/night is our showdown with that All Saints' team down south.

Above song is being upped for fun. That plus my own way to let my super mignone legal housebreaker know I've got a unique taste in music.

Note: 31st Oct is also known as the All Saints' Irony. Originally known as a Roman Catholic holiday, it took one Martin Luther to start a 95 Theses revolution which gave birth to the Protestant movement. And yes, Protestant is NOT a denomination unless you happened to fail your religion's history. Don't blame the likes of Martin Luther, John Calvin, and John Knox for the irony. Blame the Irish because they invented 31st Oct before Saint Constantine declared Christianity as legal and officially national.

Add note: I thought John Calvin was Dutch. Turned out he's French. Pretty sure my super mignone legal housebreaker would have known this by now, but don't ask me why.

We're from the north, they're from the south
When we talk about north and south, two things come to mind. The first is the conflict between progressives and the conservatives. The second is the American Civil War where Honest Abe became Tony Stark and Chief Jeff became Steve Rogers.

In the UK, the conflict between conservatives and liberals is very real.
Come to think of it, it's very real no matter where you are...
Hopefully, my angmoh sense of humour is able to impress my super mignone legal housebreaker...
Also, you raised the wrong hand lah, Mr Low. Should be left lah, not right.
As for any semblance of civil war within the British Isles, it has to be the IRA and the fact that no American should be trusted to do something like this.

Funnily enough, the political balance in England tends to go like this: If you're from the south, chances are that you're a conservative Tory Troy; if you're from the north, you're most likely a leftist and pro-Brexit (not to mention pro-UKIP as well).

This is gonna be another north-south showdown with 6 points at stake (read: a six-pointer no matter how we look at it). So what should we expect?

Making steel, made of steel, men of steel
I remembered being ridiculed as that "man of steel" by some Jeffrey bloke during my ITE days. Granted he's no Malicious Jeff, but his brain worked like your typical ah-beng. Full of chiobu and pr0n. Because I din;t understand the implication of his antics, I was officially labeled as the Man of Steel even though my nature was shaping nicely to be that Knight of Gotham.

You know life has dealt you a harsh hand when you're forced to fight your own demons alone...


Moral of the story: A girl, a cat, and a mask will always be a recipe for trouble.


Homme et Femme, Le Chevalier Noir et La Princesse Voleurs

Why am I getting so emo atm? Anyway, our mental strength may easily matter more than physical endurance. The reason being why is that you can easily overcome jetlag via mind over matter. We'll need to settle into the game asap, but we also need to be mindful not to let physical fatigue compromise our aggression. Ultimately, it boils down to where the aggression will be played. There's no point doing it from back to front and vice versa. Ask for my tactical opinion and I'll say the midfield.

No goals, no win, nothing
The Saints this season is a team quite the opposite to the likes of Everton and Spurs. If Mauricio "poached by a Hebrew from Israel" Pochettino has further refined his white hot tactics at White Hart Lane, then Ronald "he's no creepy McDonald" Koeman has surely introduced some cold blue steel at Goodison Park minus a diet of Korean candy.

Under the defensive leadership of Claude "Le Tank" Puel, the Saints are now playing the kind of football which got us canned by the purists prior to the red-blue showdown against Antonio "Il Bestia" Conte. I know it sounds a sick joke, but there's nothing much separating us from them here. Not so much in terms of the starting XI, but the tactics.

However, getting defeated by a team full of blokes sharing the same DNA as Ali G, Borat Sagdiyev, Brüno Gehard, and some AG named Aladeen means the fans will be expecting a response.

Well, not in this manner. Hopefully ,my super mignone legal housebreaker isn't anti-Jewish...


I'll be absolutely damned if the Anglo-Saxons from the south coast won't try doing a St George against our four by two. Or four by three for that matter.

DTA and Austin
DTA, either it's Don't Trust Anybody or Don't Trust Austin. For the Saints, they need to earn the trust of everybody from fans to pundits and punters alike. For the Saints, they'll need to forget about Charlie "the stone cold (goal) stunner" Austin since he's crocked. Interesting question would be which southern saint is available for the centre-forward role. My answer to this whole damn riddle?

Dušan "the weapon expert in the train to Busan" Tadić, one of the latest athletes out to make Serbia super famous ever since Ana "not the wife of Branislav" Ivanović first took the world of female tennis by storm. If there must be a 국외자 in that train to Busan, it has to be him. In every elite counterstrike team out to liberate the entire Korean Peninsula from a zombie invasion, there must be a weapons expert. Tadić is that expert, he is Monsieur Puel's Archer in red and white. Assuming he will start the game in place of an injured Texas Ranger named Austin, it means we'll be in some sort of trouble. Without a no.9, it merely means Tadić will most likely be doing that false 9. However, it must be stated that he operates like a true blue Serbian hitman who will never leave a job unfinished. Despite being frozen(?) out by the current regime, Koeman's tactical brain last season proved that Tadić is definitely more than capable of scoring goals like a Serbian no.9. His ability to pass and score is a real danger to us because that will liberate Nathan "the Flash" Redmond (read: he basically cuts in like a black Robben). Austin's absence is NOT a boon given to us on a silver platter. Quite the opposite, in fact. Coupled with the speedy presence of Josh "not you, Mr Sim" Sims, it means our four by two will have to be up for a fight.

My advice to Señor? The All Saints' backline is nothing to scoffed at. The presence of 3 central mids means Monsieur Rouge et Blanc has the neccesary engine room to deal with our attack. The longer we dally with the ball, the more time we'll be giving them to hold fort and counter. Once they have the ball, it's only a matter of time before they attack. More likely Monsieur Rouge et Blanc will want to draw first blood asap. Which means we'll most likely be facing plenty of lightning-fast counterattacks. Which is why the south coast will need the creativity of their Serbian hitman. Because I know starting lineups are prone to last minute changes (something which I suspect is a means of countering my strategic "genius" as a "descendant" of Guo Jia), it means the front three we'll be facing is key to victory, draw, or defeat. We'll need to play the ball fast and down the flank. The moment we can force a certain James "the living St James Power Station" Ward-Prowse out wide, it means there's a chance of getting something out of  a 50-50. If that very same St James Power Station decides to drift out wide on his own terms and conditions, it means we'll run the risk getting shut down for good like some Butter Factory. If I've accidentally offended anyone, I apologise. After all, you'll never know when/whether you'll end up accidentally offending your future girlfriend's BFFs. *shrugs*


Pls click only if you can manage the boring first 25 secs...

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