Bad Blood?
If there's any equivalent to Taylor "gone (swiftly) in 60 secs" Swift's Bad Blood, would it be us and Burnley? A lot has been said about some kind of fan rivalry which doesn't make any sense at all. We're no Liverpool, neither is Burnley Man Utd. We're no Real Madrid, Turf Moor is never part of Catalonia. No matter how we see it, some things never made any sense. That's until Sean "hopefully not a douche" Dyche mentioned something about us spending money like some Hollywood celeb when it comes to the transfer market. That was after Burnley got relegated first time round, but not before they received a massive "kaching!" (read: parachute payment).
I don't like speculating about other people's spending habits. In fact, do you think I should speculate about Dyche's spending habits if I don't even give a damn about how my super mignonne legal housebreaker spends daily in Orchard Road?
What I'm trying to say is this: I'm not part of the people on the ground (read: both the locals from Riverside and at the Turf Moor), therefore I can easily keep calm and carry on.
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| If you happen to be English, just keep calm. Period. |
Never the Barca of northeast, played like Beirut of the northeast
When I mentioned Beirut, it has got nothing to do with Lebanon, the Hezbollah, and Mid-East politics in general. Someone in the North East Football Banter page in FB (forgot who since it's been a long time ago) boasted that Sunderland is the Barca of the northeast. Another fellow (also forgot who) replied by saying something like "yeah, the beirut of northeast".
Swansea was our best win so far in the season, but it's also one of our worse performances so far (if not, the worst so far).
"...we have played better in other games and left with nothing."If we think we can get away from Turf Moor with anything worthwhile via this type of performance, it means the only thing we'll be getting is another 3-0. Not 3-0 against Swansea, but 3-0 ver.Liverpool.
Burnley is a team of fighters. Whether we like it or not, Dyche is one of the two most exceptional man managers in the top flight (the other being Eddie "the Once and Future Knight" Howe). Dyche is not a moron, he knows the only way is up. Not just climbing up the table, but also pressing up the field as well.
Thanks to the Jews...
...I may have discovered something interesting. While both matches were away fixtures, I decided to have a peek at Tottenham's team selection and that of West Ham as well. Against the Burnley, Mauricio "poached by Jewtown" Pochettino played his classic 4-2-3-1. Against the same opponent, Slaven "I trolled the Brits like Diego '#footballtrollinggod' Simeone" Bilić played a pre-25th Dec Christmas tree (read: 3-4-2-1). 4-2-3-1 is a different deal to 3-4-2-1. As different as night and day to be exact.
There's a hidden clue when it comes to being similar. We have Victor "Kuroyama-san says ohayo" Wanyama, we also have Harry "neither a Kane nor a Lee" Winks. The former is used as the Mountain that Stands instead of some mountain that rides. The latter is a midfielder deployed out wide. I doubt Winks is an orthodox winger, but it doesn't mean he can't play out wide. Gastón "El Bestia Bello" Ramírez is capable of operating out wide, but to call him a winger by trade is like telling me Heather Chua is a Brown University graduate in reality.
On the other side of London, I can't find anything worth the Boro cause apart from a 6 man midfield. In other words, 'tis another four by two.
What this possibly means is this: In the same way it's tactically possible to hold fort via a 6 man midfield, likewise it's also tactically possible to do the same with Harry and Christian at the flanks (wait... Harry and Christian? Sounds a bit like a rival company to Ernst and Young).
My advice to Señor? Firstly, Burnley will be throwing everything at us including the kitchen sink and Dyche's missus. Secondly, assuming Dyche will be throwing caution to the wind just because of that is like telling me the girlfriend Heather Chua is none other than Emma "Duchess of Trollinburg" Watson. If I'm wrong on this part, then let me quote BG Tan (during one of his REACH dialogue forum sessions with ppl like me) by saying "I would like to be your friend". If I'm really wrong on this part, then let me quote a German by saying "I'll eat a broomstick".
There has to be a ball anchor somewhere. Given that Dyche is one hell of a son of a gun when it comes to man motivation, I won't be surprised if the ball anchor happens to be someone like Sam "the Vokeswagon" Vokes, Ashley "he's built like a barn" Barnes, or even Jóhann the Iceberg. How high the ball will be anchored may possibly mean how deep we have to defend. How low the ball will be anchored means how much the attacking players will have to run. Their turf may be English territory, but trust me when I say the Anglo-Saxons there will be going war-crazy like a bunch of battle hardened Moors.
P.S: Okay lads and ladies. There's nothing to talk about from today onwards. The French and English have signed a truce, we won't be seeing the end of the Hundred Years' War as we like to see it.
Add P.S: Yes, I know it's short. I'm officially running against time. Some more haven't eat dinner yet.
Final P.S: Suddenly realised I may be a closet anti-Semite. Either that or I actually understand satire better than 99% of my local S'poreans. So much for being a local genius, here's hoping Magneto will get a German son-in-law as his Christmas present next year. *shrugs*
Final P.S: Suddenly realised I may be a closet anti-Semite. Either that or I actually understand satire better than 99% of my local S'poreans. So much for being a local genius, here's hoping Magneto will get a German son-in-law as his Christmas present next year. *shrugs*
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