Hungry man=/=Angry man

Okay, so we lost it. We lost it in the 2nd half because we may have easily won it in the 1st half. Credit to the opposition, the brigade of Saint George led by Monsieur Rouge et Blanc deserved to boss us in the last 45 mins due to our inability to score like the S'pore national team. The personal irony wasn't lost me after full time. It's basically the same thing as the Watford match. Against Watford, I tweeted that José "the human Bas Kilang" Holebas was to be Walter "Il Maserati" Mazzarri's tactical Maserati. Turned out he scored a wonder goal to sink us all. Against Southampton, I tweeted caution against Sofiane "tak Sufian" Boufal once Monsieur Rouge et Blanc decided to sub in Nathan "the black Robben" Redmond. Turned out the Rouge et Blanc ver of Franck "Le Cicatrice" Ribéry staged an act of robbery so bloody damn epic, even the late Bonnie and Clyde would have been impressed.

A hungry man=/=an angry man

If you're a hungry man, it's not necessarily that you're an angry man. People fast for a reason just like how people abuse their 2nd Amendment rights for a reason (and no, I'm not referring to President Rodrigo "not Duturtle" Duterte. Likewise, we can't assume every angry Boro fan is a hungry Boro fan (read: there's still the parmo).

I didn't understand why Señor chose to keep his cards late before deciding whether to play a Jack, King, Ace, or the Joker. Now please allow me to be his defence attorney free of charge when it comes to the starting lineup.

When we saw Jordan "not of the River Jordan" Rhodes starting, we might have gone somewhat like "huh?!?" in the same way we saw Dany's nude shot on TV. More specifically, it's eyes nearly popping out instead of whether 'tis a good thing or not.

"He can't make the cut as the lone striker!!!!"

"Stuani out on the right again????!!!!????"

Basically complaints like these two. Yes, I never doubted Rhodes ability to score in the same way I'm waiting to be proven wrong when it comes to his lack of ability to lead the line as the Lone Ranger (read: We really need a Batman instead of Robin). However, I also need to ask this damning question: When was the last time he actually played?

My estimation is "not since America became great by shocking the world, bringing down the Asian stock market, and confounding the so-called experts all at the same time" (however, it must also be stated that this proved the global media doesn't understand American society even half as well the big kahunas have claimed to be).

In other words, we're starting with a striker who is anything but match fit. His goal poaching skills made him a fan favourite to start in every game, the irony was that Señor actually did just that. So we can't really complain beyond the adamant view of a two striker system (something which Señor would never do due to having 1 less midfielder to hold fort). To hammer home the fact that I'm not telling nonsense, the lad took a knock prior to the game (or something like that).

Then we have Cristhian "he's no Arnie on the right" Stuani. Unlike the previous matches before we signed the right Traoré, I could see an actual tactical sense in this lineup. With Adam "not Clayton" Forshaw starting to prove himself as the upstart of upfield passing (basically, that's how Álvaro "solo para siempre?" Negredo scored the 2nd of his English [northeast] career), it means more leeway for Stuani to emulate Arnie in the box. If such a strategy wasn't workable, we most likely wouldn't have gotten a sniff in the first half. As it turned out, Señor was correct and the moaners were wrong.

Problem started in the 2nd half. We ran out of steam (very likely that jetlag overtook us after we overexerted ourselves in the 1st half). Period. The introduction of the black Robben merely served to exacerbate the situation. Period.

However, it must also be stated that an effective strategy shouldn't be used as an excuse not to throw a sub or two. Imagine what may happen if the correct Traoré or Emilio "he's no Gary Stue" Nsue took to the field. The former would have provided us with an effective outlet to pin back their wide players while the latter could easily offer us a safer break-and-counter approach (interestingly enough, it seems that a lack of match fitness may have cost more than just one Nsue).

To be, or not to be

That is the question. I may be quoting Shakespeare, but I'm not referring anyone to Prince Hamlet. I'm referring to Señor's tactical insistence to keep the subs on the bench like how Gandalf had said something about the wizard never too early or too late.

Yet, it must be stated that it makes far more sense to be stubborn when it comes to philosophy compared to tactical switches. At the same time, we're no Man City or Arsenal in the same way Señor is no El Genio or Le Professeur. We're nearing the wrong end of the table, we don't have that kind of money even one tenth as obscene compared to the Japanese AV (read: porn) industry.

Because I know I may have accidentally traumatised just about anybody who reads this blog (albeit you all should know by now whatever I've written is only for the intelligent and/or mature), I decided to use this video above as distraction of sorts. After all, this version of Wang Yi is actually less sexually arousing than the previous versions. And yes, she's actually a historical symbol of feminism way before the rise of feminism as we know it.

Also, Cao Cao in his youth was dismissed as a lobo in the same way I was being seen as one in my schooling days. However, I don't see myself as a crafty hero in turbulent times (gotta admit both of us have a weakness for girls since the start of puberty). As for Sun Ce, I actually have his daring son-of-a-gun modus operandi minus someone like Da Qiao as my stabilising factor (then again, change is the only constant in life as we know it). As for Zhuge Liang...

The Longzhong thesis

If I am to be Zhuge Liang, then Señor is definitely Liu Bei. If I am the Sleeping Dragon, then Singapore is my Longzhong.

Above statement is only meant as a pompous statement of shameless self-promotion (yes, I know this is even worse than Xiaxue's modus operandi). Zhuge Liang compared himself with Guan Zhong (an exceptional politician serving Duke Huan of the state of Qi during the Warring States era) and Yue Yi (and exceptional general in the same period serving the state of Yan). I'm not that daring, let alone crazy. However, I do have his analytical skill.

Those who are knowledgeable enough to differentiate a fictional novel from non-fiction history will understand that Zhuge Liang wasn't the god of strategy many others are still talking about. His northern campaign against Wei was an abject failure (albeit the debacle at Jieting was the reason why everything went terribly pear-shaped and downhill). Yet, one should never discount the fact that he was actually the chief commander behind a successful campaign against the tribes of Nanzhong who were out to declare independence via violent means (in fact, they've been doing it ever since Liu Bei seized control of the Yi province from Liu Zhang).

One exceptional contribution was when Liu Bei humbled himself by visiting Zhuge Liang despite the need not to do so. It's like Señor coming to Singapore just to look for me once the season is over. It was there which the Sleeping Dragon presented his Longzhong thesis.

The Longzhong thesis revolved around two provinces, namely the provinces of Jing and Yi. The former was under the jurisdiction of Liu Biao, someone who was quite frankly useless. The latter was bossed by someone no better. Namely, Liu Zhang.

The Yi province was that of a basin terrain. Basically, it means being surrounded by mountains. Sounds familiar? That's where Señor did right.

As for the Jing province, it's all about the offensive either towards the right or up north. Sounds familiar? that's where we're currently having a problem.

When it comes to the left, we have players like Stewart "will he be downed by his ex?" Downing, Viktor "yet to be King" Fischer, and Gastón "El Bestia Bello" Ramírez. Players who can hold down the ball and pass/cross it like a Teesside made howitzer. Linking up with whoever the bloke at hole 9, it means the two holding mids will have plenty of leeway to make decisions (read: whether to move up, fall back, or go sideways like a sidewinder snake high on drugs). When it comes to the right, we're still lacking our cutting edge. We'll most likely need Nsue up to shape (not to mention crossing accuracy as well) if we need to have something going for us (not to mention Señor's philosophy as well). Perhaps assuming the correct Traoré to the solution is like assuming the Celebgate hackers are, in fact, representing Anonymous (read: from 4chan).

So what about the correct Traoré? His pace, mobility, and a buff bod newly worked would have caused the Saints problems aplenty. However, he also needs to know that a lack of tracking back could have easily killed us. They have Jay "not Mr Chou" Rodriguez and Boufal out wide. Who did we have? Or more specifically, who did we have out right? Stuani may be a willing player, but he's never fast enough to cover ground.

As for Fischer, his willingness to get forward was encouraging. Yes, he missed quite a sitter. But hey, he got himself around the most Jewish backline in the English top flight! We did give ourselves a horrible time in taking corners/set pieces though. Bummer that.

Gastón, pls come back... ToT

We missed Gastón in the same way Belle would always miss her beastly prince. Yes, 'tis nice to see Fischer picking out the pass in the final 3rd like a laughing jackass (fellow S'poreans graduated from Aussie schools like University of Newcastle and the CSU would understand what a laughing jackass looks like. And no, it's not me). However, it still remains that our default laughing jackass is El Bestia Bello himself. And he's still crocked and unavailable.

Interestingly, Señor mentioned a stunning revelation here. Lies, damned lies, and statistics... we'd like to react like that, but we're no Mark Twain. Hell, who are we to think we're more educated/intelligent than the man himself? Might as well try making something out of nothing.

Firstly, there's a difference between Stuani out right atm and Stuani on the right last time round. That difference is Downing. Or rather his lack of pace. Fischer may not be the fastest bloke out on the left (more likely that accolade goes to the correct Gastón), but at least he's a better option in getting forward. Against Liverpool, however, we'll need to up the fight. Fischer needs to pick out space like a kingfisher, but he also needs to fight like Gastón the beast. The former is arguably easier than doing so against the Saints, 'tis the latter which has me worried. Under Jürgen "#TeamRoboKlopp" Klopp, the Liverbird is soaring like a phoenix reborn from the fire and ashes. Yes, they got injuries. We still have to contend with an absent Negredo, half fit Rhodes, and an injured beast of a Gastón for crying out loud! Yes, Loris "he's no French" Karius may be looking like a French Lloris made in China. So what? Football is full of uncertainties, only a moron will say we're playing against 11 Kariuses instead of just 1 Karius between the sticks. Who knows, maybe Karius will be fired up because of this.

The critics are no idiots, neither are they the kind of people who have gotten the wrong karma (something which got Glenn "still the smartest bloke in the room unless dethroned by Southgate" Hoddle into trouble in the first place). They're no fools. They know who the pride of Merseyside is going up against. Not only are they going up against a team renowned for steel on the pitch, the entire Teesside has always been used to that backs-against-the-wall situation. Coupled with the fact that they're going up against El Estratega Genio himself, it means nothing should be taken for granted (disclaimer: I don't profess to be that person unless the correct Gibbo decides to endorse me like a social media influencer endorsing a product).

This may easily be Calum "the 16 million GBP man" Chambers' toughest fight yet. After all, it wasn't a coincidence that Liverpool scored 3 (or was it 4?) past Les Goners with this lad starting as Le Goner centreback. Against Spurs, he was overawed by the white hot lads from White Hart Lane. Against Leicester, he was given the wrong karma. Against the duo of Sadio "confirm dio one!" Mané and Divock "badder than the #OriginalGuy" Origi, what are his chances of withstanding a fast and furious tag-team? Seeing him and Ben "Le Prince" Gibson going up against them is like imagining the Hardy Boyz doing a TLC match against the Two Man Power Trip. Too damn risky, but still no choice.

Which comes to this guy.

How much was Firmino's price? They say every player has his price, I say every man has his pride. When Raheem "show me the real Sterling!" Sterling decided to sign his own Brexit, Brendan "I'll sign Barton for 30 million quids" Rodgers have already signed a potential replacement for like... 29 million quids? No matter what, Firmino's versatility mirrors that of Sterling. So long he stays firing fit, the Kops will be firing on all cylinders. Ultimately, Philippe "O Santo" Coutinho's absence merely gave #RoboKlopp another option. Period. From false 9 to orthodox 9, from Brazil to Germany.

My advice to Señor? Assuming #TeamRoboKlopp won't tweak the midfield approach, it means we'll be dealing with a dynamic middle 3rd mirroring that of the Rodgers dynasty. The previous era may have undergone plenty of ridicule over a season at its final throes of death, but RoboKlopp has done exceptionally well to retain what isn't broken while fixing what's broken. What was broken lies in the lack of goals and motivation. What remains the same is the dynamic style of the midfield. Ironically, the middle 3 is now looking like Swansea's middle 3 during Rodgers' dynasty. Many pundits predict Karius being targetted like a sitting duck during open season. Well, guess what? You think Klopp is stupid? Better luck if you want to see him eat a broomstick. If possible at all, he won't give us a chance to breach the backline. His approach is most likely very simple. Keep the ball at the back and pass it to the front. Or whoever deployed behind the 3 firing Kops. Unlike us, Liverpool didn't have to make a long journey down south. Only an idiot will believe travelling from north to south in England is like my super mignone legal housebreaker travelling from Punggol West to Jalan Membina. This is England, not Singapore (albeit both are island nations). If we play this deep, Traoré better start playing like his correct self lest he becomes the next Djimi.

The riskier approach, however, may easily be the better approach. It's like Guo Jia telling Cao Cao to attack the Wuhuan tribe when Yuan Tan and Yuan Xi decided to bail out north. Many of his vassals played the cautious game as there's no point trying to run the cavalry ragged from south to north. Guo Jia's logic was that it's winnable. While Klopp won't commit the dumb mistake of sitting back and do nothing, surely we'd be inviting a triple threat if we're to sit back instead. It's like Guo Jia telling Cao Cao to attack no matter what, for the newly acquired north would experience upheaval should the Wuhuan-Yuan coalition start riding south. Yes, we should have a try in parking the bus high up. In Rodgers speak, it's called playing high block. In fact, it's a more pragmatic approach since seeing the correct Traoré is strictly still a 50-50 call.

We have to force back their wide players, we have to force them to track back. No one is telling us to play the wide areas fast and furious, but can we try playing it smart? My advice, your call. That's my message to Señor. Oh, and one more thing. We can just go playing this match with nary a sliver of pressure. Home match? Home support? Who cares so long we reciprocate the fans' passion while trying to right some wrongs from our last 90 mins?

Imagine the unthinkable, imagine Chambers pushing his tormentor into the footballing gas chamber.
Bummer we lost the one and only Ali Brownlee. His comments would have been super epic.