Add note: In other news, I realised to my shock that perhaps my beautiful housebreaker isn't the only belle dame having a crush me. *shrugs*
Before I get started on the correct Ronald...
Let's talk abt Chelsea vs Liverpool, blue vs red. Two teams (tactically) high on momentum, they say football can be a simple game due to 20 blokes chasing the ball ('keepers don't count b/c they don't do their own box to box running. Well at least sorta not...). I'm pretty sure this will be one of those moments where every footballer is a closet German in the same way I have always been that closet Jew in school.
Firstly, let us see what has changed for Chelsea for the better. When José "no longer O Especial?" Mourinho arrived come the second time round, there were no danger signs of the so-called third season syndrome. Fast forward to right now and Feyenoord had just given Utd an atomic wedgie.
Then let us see if there's any semblance of Brendan "not Fraser" Rodgers' Liverpool in Jürgen "RoboKlopp" Klopp's version. On the first glance, we're reminded of Die Schwarzgelben under his stewardship. After all, it's gegenpressing and not possession football, right? Wrong. A look at the current XI would have given us a glimpse on how the current midfield works. While in Germany, Klopp favours a more systematic 4-2-3-1 with Kagawa "the Tokugawa Ieyasu of football?" Shinji playing the role of your stereotypical East Asian. If you still don't know what I'm talking abt...
Unlike the previous model which enabled Shinji to cut in from anywhere behind the firing line, Liverpool still retains a fair bit of Rodgers' image. While a lot of us enjoy making fun of Rodgers in terms of his strategic and tactical whatever, one thing still stands out: the ability to control the match via a dynamic midfield system. Judging from the current middle 3, I won't put it past this current Reds changing only the way their firing line works. And it doesn't help the opposition that Klopp is a Pep in ways more than one. In other words, false 9.
As for Chelsea, one thing consistent with Antonio "Il Bestia" Conte is his width philosophy. Doesn't matter if it's 3-5-2, 4-2-4, or 4-1-4-1. The consistency lies in two wide players pushing forward and tracking back. It's far from the classic fish and chips' English fare though. The wide players are meant to control the tempo more than anything else. So long you can't breach the Great Wall of Rome, you can't do a thing to the whole of Rome itself. By adopting a 4-2-3-1>4-1-4-1 system, Conte is addressing the problem with the backline. Namely John "score or else *insert your girlfriend's name* gets it" Terry no longer scoring honours on a consistent basis. With N'Golo "no vulgarities pls" Kanté as the rock of the team, it means breaking down the current Blues may easily be more difficult than breaking down your stereotypical Azzurri XI more than 10 yrs ago.
And now a tale of two Ronalds...
I can understand why my fellow Boro-thers in arms are still feeling disappointed. We drew against 2 teams arguably better than Alan "Pt Deux or Pardiola?" Pardew's Palace. That was until I realised Steve "Le Imba" Mandanda signed for the same team which brought us the pretty cheerleaders like this one below.
We got done in by two moments of screw up. Period. However, it must also be noted that Wilfried "fried by my ex(boss)" Zaha was most likely frying George "still our BFF" Friend non-stop.
I still remember a Ronald (or some name like that) during my secondary school days. I tried borrowing the last volume of the Yu Yu Hakusho manga from him. He refused. Others asked the same thing, he agreed. Quite obviously I was gutted. To quote the Godslayer and Brand the Rivan Warder, "Me? Why me?" Ofc it wasn't until N years later that I realised where things went wrong. In short, it had never been my fault for being the only Jew amongst the rest (figuratively ofc).
The reason why I highlighted this fact is very simple. The Records of the Three Kingdoms (i.e. the actuial history, not the novel) actually implied that Fa Zheng did have a memory of an elephant. That's why he couldn't be trusted with absolute power.
Chen Shous's appraisal of this guy was that "an opportunistic and exceptional planner capable of effective counter-measures at every turn".
[法正著见成败，有奇画策算]
Funnily enough, it seems that things happen whenever I failed to appear in Twitter to post my live tactical tweets. Against Fulham, we lost while I slept. Against Palace, we lost while I was away.
Ronald Koeman or a Ronald McDonald
Everton has hit the ground running so far. Which is quite a feat given the defensive mess which indirectly caused Roberto "not Mancini" Martínez to take over the Siege Perilous of Belgium. When Mauricio 'poached by Jewtown" Pochettino was,.. well, poached by the richest (?) Jew in (north) London, Southampton turned to Ronald "not a McDonald" Koeman. I still recall his first match in charge, that was against Liverpool under Rodgers' midfield philosophy. What took me by surprise was Nathaniel "the solo Bonny and Clyde" Clyne roasting Alberto "maybe he should play higher up" Moreno for fun. Fullback versus fullback, an attacking fullback versus a defending fullback. Koeman's adventurous strategy took me by surprise since there's no way for even a prophet to predict the manner of Rodgers' downfall from that day onwards.
When Pochettinno decided to switch the Earl Grey tea from the south coast for the Cappuccino from London, he left behind a stable squad never short on the defensive end. Koeman merely reinforced the fact that all cynics should just eat their words.
During the first few matches, Koeman adopted a funny 3-4-3 formation. If this sounds eerily familiar, that's because Martínez already did that while at some small English town more famous for the rugby and pies. Make no mistakes about it, Koeman's mission was to plug the leakage. However, he chose not to use the conventional back 4 system which has served many a successful team so well (read: even Barcelona adopted a back 4 system).
By playing a middle 4, Koeman was taking a risk. It's like telling Clyne to do his own Bonny and Clyde solo against Moreno. And guess what? It actually works.
Recently, however, Koeman adopted a more systematic 4-2-3-1. Against Sunderland, the lads in blue brought with them their blitzkrieg lawn mower. Unlike Winston Churchill, David "I got hot daughter like Mr Bean" Moyes had no answer to the blitzkrieg lawn mower. In particular, the timing of Romelu "the black Romulus" Lukaku's goals is quite intriguing. I won't call it a triple smash and grab, it's not as if we're talking abt Triple H winning the match against the odds by using his signature weapon. While Lukaku's resurgence in form resembles a Romulus hitting a comeback trail, it must be stated that this merely confirmed what I've suspected abt the other Ronald all the while. Unlike his predecessor(s), he favours a direct wing play approach. Against Liverpool last time round, Clyne was able to push up because Rodgers insisted on a high block control approach (wow, I really sound like the man himself lol). Against Sunderland, Moyes took the wrong move by giving the wingers too much time and space with the ball. As a result, Lukaku was able to wear down the Wearsiders like Gaius Julius Caesar hammering the Gauls for fun.
Because Koeman's job was to fix what is broken, therefore there's no point for him to supplant the previous regime when it comes to the goals. He merely modified what worked for Toffees last time round. Period.
So how does Everton do it? I mean scoring like George "Best of the best in Belfast" Best while defending like JT.
Quite contrary to what the late Sir Alec Guinness (and his iconic role of a Jedi martyr) may be saying, Ross "pretty sure his bro nvr played in the NBA" Barkley is that midfielder I'm looking at. Initially a player with raw pace, good control, and a deceptively delicate balance, the one thing he lacked was the ability to pass the ball from the deep. This is not to say that he's a Paul "the apostle of Old Trafford" Scholes or Juan Román "the ball travels like a requiem" Riquelme. Rather, his job this season round would most likely be running back and forth minus the forward sniping style typified by a certain Japanese who departed from Old Trafford.
There's no point for Barkley to play like what he used to do under Martínez. Koeman's job is to fix what went wrong, not what went right. While his passing range is never good enough to play in a deep-lying position, at least it should be good enough to link up play to the attacking trio. In other words, there has to be a gap between Koeman's four by two and his three by one. If you think we can exploit the aforementioned space, it means you're dumber than you look by underestimating Koeman's intelligence. He's no Ronald from my past, he's no Ronald McDonald as well.
So what should we do, Señor?
My advice to Señor is very simple. Firstly, Sunlessland has taught us how NOT to play against the Toffees. Whatever we do, we better not play this deep. If we decide to play it safe like your everyday Singaporean, it means we're dead. This is a suicidal strategy, it's not even an Indy ploy. The only way for us to get something out of this match is to risk everything. Nothing less than a 100% risk-taking approach should suffice. This calls for camaraderie within the dressing room. If our BFF leftback screws up again, it doesn't mean he's a Lonesome George. Neither should he be as well. If anyone else commits a screw-up, just play Taylor "gone (swiftly) in 60 secs" Swift's Shake It Off.
We have to take the fight to the attacking trio behind the black Romulus. The moment we allow them to run riot, we're dead. And I don't mean running riot in the final third. That'd be too late.
P.S: I realised that girls might be better than guys after all when it comes to calling the bluff. Just a random rambling from yours truly here.
P.S: I realised that girls might be better than guys after all when it comes to calling the bluff. Just a random rambling from yours truly here.
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