Boh chenghu one leh!

Me and my fellow S'poreans must have been feeling very gutted right now. Decision to legalise online betting (albeit only for Singapore Pools and Singapore Turf Club) never went through public feedback. Apparently, even the WP chose only to take the fight via a political statement beyond the boundary of parliament debate. I hope I'm wrong here, I really hope my info(rmant) is wrong. Perhaps this is some kind of sick joke done on a bipartisan basis. Maybe it's true that I've become globally famous without being made official, that both the PAP and WP were saying "yeah, we know this guy and what kind of person he is". Maybe that's why... think they must be trolling me 4 teh lolz....

And speaking of online gambling...

I won't be surprised if the likes of William Hillbilly and Lads gone broke(s) gave West Ham a delicious carrot to munch on (read: you know how the damn odds work). Tonight (in S'porean timezone, that is), it's do or die for both us and them. Definitely a do or die for both Señor and the Slavic trolling god.

Note: I only have less than 2 hrs to make this post count. Traditionally, my post would take more than 2 hrs to finish. Think way more than that. As Private Ryan Shawcross pointed out correctly(?), I always talk crap. Which means I'm never one to talk anything useful...

What happens if we/they win?

A high stakes game can never arrive too early or too damn late. While it's still early days for us (2 draws and a win, followed by 3 defeats in a row), we can't afford to start a rot lasting for half a season. We'll die due to the rot. This comes into mind Gareth "Beckham missed his penalty kick=still famous. I missed my penalty kick=become infamous" Southgate's disastrous reign during our final top flight campaign N years ago. We went on a merry run for the first half of the season, then we collapsed in the 2nd half. Somewhere in the middle, our positive run overlapped with our nightmarish run. Señor would do well to take heed of what I've said here. Namely the overlapping part. Our spectacular collapse was more of a gradual leprosy gone progressively worse. During the last days of our unbeaten run, we're starting to draw matches instead of winning them. History may have no bearing on the present, but it may come in handy in the future.

As for West Ham, it's even more of a do or die for them. A team of this level of pedigree should be good enough for Europa League. The footballing gods must be crazy, that's most likely why the Hammers were getting hammered left, right, and centre. The Slavic trolling god must find a way to arrest the slide, for the impact is arguably greater for them compared to us.

Win the game and we'll get out confidence back. Lose the game and we're back to the drawing board (together with a growing sense of frustration that we're getting too predictable so long Cristhian "not an Arnie" Stuani remains out wide). For the Hammers, losing the match means running the risk of getting hammered in the long run. Period.

With that, allow me to ask some damning(?) questions.

Question 1: Chambers and Hardy

Yes, I know Chambers and Hardy sounds a bit like Drew & Napier or Ernst & Young. Rest assured I'm not out to make anyone famous even though I may be unofficially famous globally now. I've got a problem last weekend, it has got nothing to do with Le Professeur X smiling like a Russian (supermodel) tennis player currently on the banned list. My problem was with Calum "Klopp shoved him into the gas chamber" Chambers. What Señor was thinking by starting him alongside Ben "Le Prince" Gibson in the central defence, I don't know. While I've got no problem with likening Señor with Cao Cao (not fictionally speaking, but historically speaking), I've yet to become his Guo Jia. Enough of talking crap lest Private Ryan Shawcross has something to say again.

The inclusion of Chambers to me was like Señor doing a Jeff "not Matt" Hardy (or even a Rey "619" Mysterio). Which is anti-Señor, no matter how I look at it. His strategy hinges heavily on stability and stabilising the match before knocking a goal (or hopefully two) past the opposition. At the same time, the central defensive partnership should be one not to tinker with. I truly doubt the likes of Rafa "not Nadal" Benítez and Claudio "a new Julio-Claudian dynasty?" Ranieri would have been that foolhardy.

The writing was already on the wall, Chambers may not have the mental strength to play centreback. In fact, I'd prefer to see him at rightback. The reason why being a particular horror show put up by Le Professeur X against RoboKlopp's RoboKops. It wasn't pretty, the defence was non-existent. I don't have to tell you who started as one of the two centebacks. It doesn't even come 10% close to this famous scene, I can assure you.

We had a nightmarish 1st half against Spurs, I wouldn't be surprised if Señor missed his Swanton Bomb (at least missing the 619 doesn't mean you'll get injured by default). However, there's more than just fair bit of silver lining in the clouds. In the second half, we improved (not so much tactically, I'll get to that part later). In fact, Chambers redeemed himself in front of the home crowd when he pulled off the impossibru. After all, it's not every day that a centreback can deny Son "officially the Korean son(ny) of a gun" Heung-min a scoring chance. A pity it couldn't be better.

So should we be seeing Chambers being pushed into the gas chambers once again, this time in enemy territory? Chambers is a good lad with ability, I'd have to give him that. But his mental strength leaves a lot to be desired. It's a bit like Southgate the gaffer (note: NOT the player or even the skipper). Tactically astute, yes. Good in man management, no.

Question 2: The correct Traoré and the correct Rey

Do not be misled by your ignorant neighbour, S'porean or no S'porean. While Mexico exists both as a nation and people (not to mention possibly a form of Maserati as well), believing there's a Mexcian language is like believing Heather Chua to be an actual Heather Chua (not to mention whether it's perfectly fine for local ladies to marry down)

The tactical turning for us against Spurs came when Adama 'not Djimi" Traoré came off the bench and flew off the blocks. Why I say tactical because while he's no Djimi Traoré, he's no Cristiano "I speak only Portuguese, not Brazilian" Ronaldo or Lionel "I mess with the opposition" Messi  as well. Traoré roasting 3-4 white blokes in a row is a surreal sight to imagine. Period. It's like Rey Mysterio winning the Royal Rumble N ages ago.

I tweeted a tactical tweet last week. Basically, it's locking down the right side so that Mauricio "poached by Jewtown" Pochettino would be forced to commit his attacking resources down the centre. The reason why being that I doubted we had the quality to spread out our defensive net. Might as well focus on one end, so that it's easier for us to know where the danger will be coming. The only problem? When I say right, I'm referring to the Spurs' right, not ours. Which means restricting the right midfield out wide in order to force that Korean son of a gun to cut in instead of giving him the luxury to make decisions.

Either way, Traoré roasting the opposition merely means Señor managed to set down an effective groundwork for this to happen.

Which now comes to possibly the greatest question of the next 90 mins. Will the correct Traoré please stand up? After all, he still needs to work more on his final pass.

Question 3: Sideways and backwards

A lot of disgruntled fans are now asking "Karanka why u no pass the ball forward?"

The answer to this question lies in a lack of penetration out wide. By sticking the wrong Uruguayan out wide, it's a no-brainer to see Stewart "they're all gonna down him out wide" Downing struggling on the left. No pressure from us means giving pressure to Downing. He no longer has the legs to carry himself forward. Come to think about it, not even the correct Rooney can run up and down like some wingback during the glorious days of the late Sir Alf Ramsey.

Which now comes to which player is gonna start out wide on the right. Let's not talk about whether a two striker system will work until the right end of the width gets fixed.

My advice to Señor? Because I do not have much time left, I need to keep this short and succinct. Slaven "the Slavic trolling god" Bilić will want to set out his midfield to start a fight in the middle 3rd. He will want to make us cede possession via the attacking 3 behind the lone striker so that the Hammers can hammer our four by two. We must not give them the space between our back 6 and front 4. Their back 4 will be on standby alert, a central approach means a certain death. However, the moment their midfield fall back means we have a chance to seize vital ground. I don't dare to predict a 2-0 win or even a 2-1 victory. It's gonna be a cagey match, the entire 90 mins will be focused on the middle 3rd. Let's no think so much about Dimitri "a Frank, not some Slav" Payet first. Yes, he's undergoing an Euro hangover. Yes, he's capable of things with the ball so much better. But still, football can be a very simple sport at times. 20 players (minus the 'keepers) chasing the ball, only thing is that none of them are Teutons (so as to speak).